Butcher Blues
by Mad Hatter - J
Summary: After escaping the horrors of Terminus with Rick and the rest of her group, Hannah recalls her past with the terrifying leader, Gareth, and the young man he once was.
1. Chapter 1: Gareth

**A/N:** _Hello all, just a quick note in regards to this story. The following chapters were originally part of my Walking Dead fic 'Sunset on Civilization', which I have not updated in quite a long time now. Inspired by season 5's storyline, I got a little ahead of myself and ended up writing out the entire backstory pertaining to my OC, Hannah, and her connection to Terminus leader, Gareth. I had every intention of continuing on with my story right up to this point, where I would have then revealed said connection as a sort of unexpected twist, however because it now seems unlikely I will ever get around to continuing on with the original fic, I have decided to post these chapters as a sort of standalone story. There will likely be some references in connection to the original story which may only make sense if you've read the chapters I have posted for it, but I have tried my best to fill in the gaps to make this readable without that past knowledge. Gareth was one of my favorite antagonists, and I enjoyed creating a backstory for the character since not a lot was mentioned on the show. Hope you all enjoy reading these chapters just as much._

 _I look forward to all and any feedback. Thanks for reading._

* * *

 **GARETH**

He hadn't always been that way.

The Gareth she had known was sweet, romantic and although not always empathetic in circumstances he had never experienced himself, he had at least put in the effort to be there for her. The laidback nature, though; that was still there. The charisma – the unfailing ability to peddle bullshit and if not convince you that what he was saying was true, then at least convince you that _he_ believed what he was saying was true.

Sitting a little way back from the group, Hannah sifted through her memories with him. It was like trying to dig up lost toys in a sandbox; everything from her old life was buried deep, replaced by everything from her new, post-walker life.

Rick was watching her from across the campfire, wondering what was going through her head as she frowned down at the forest floor. She looked up, her eyes widening a little as she realized that he had been watching her, a guilty look as though she had something to hide. She quickly glanced away.

Scrawny, sweet-natured Gareth. The boy who would sneak up behind her at her locker and cover her eyes, with a playful 'Guess who?' The guy who had shown up at her front door one afternoon and awkwardly presented her with a bouquet of flowers in front of her grinning mother, before taking her out on their first date. The one who understood her need to distance herself and think, and somehow allowed her to do that even when they were together. The same guy who kissed her in a small spot on her cheek, beside her ear, that never failed to make her blush.

She had been so proud to be with him. He had made her so happy. Then her mother was diagnosed with her terminal illness, and her father began visiting more often. Gareth had been so supportive with the hospital trips, the rooms of crying family members, Hannah's late night confessions of fear and grief. But then she had confessed her father's abuse to him… For a week or two he had distanced himself. Not long after that, he broke up with her, no real explanation given. She'd had many thoughts on his reasoning: that she shouldn't have burdened him with the stuff regarding her father, or that she'd expected too much from him throughout her mother's declining health. That she was not even close to good enough for him. And on the odd occasion she could debunk these harmful theories with more positive thoughts. _Everyone has to move on eventually. Think of it as a clean slate. He's going to miss out on some of my best moments. He's not the sort of person you need in your life anyway._ Then her father would come along, beat her, berate her and she would sink back into that old, murky pit of despair.

She and Gareth had still seen each other at school, spoken on the odd occasion when they ran into each other in the hallway – words of old familiarity shrunk down to small talk: 'Any plans for the summer?', 'Alex heard you're going for that teaching scholarship', then after graduation, as he stood with his arm around his new girlfriend, 'Keep in touch'.  
And they had for a while. They friended each other on Facebook, liked or commented on each other's statuses. On the odd occasion they would even send each other messages to commemorate big events in their lives:

' _Hey Han, heard about the new job. Congrats! The kids are going to love you.'_

' _Finally decided on architecture, huh? Graphic design was always your thing. Can't do any worse than the guys designing the city buildings now, I guess, haha. j/k. I know you'll be great."_

But she never heard anything else after that. He still posted new statuses and photos; new girlfriends, new friends, parties, the occasional artsy, filtered picture of a building he was inspired by. She heard from his younger brother, Alex – whom she'd gotten along with pretty well whilst she and Gareth were dating – that Gareth had taken up a part time job as a barista at a café not far from the school she taught at, to help him get through college. As much as she'd wanted to drop in to the café one day to surprise him, she felt it was inappropriate at this point, that it would come across as weird. They had their own separate lives now – they were different people. With old thoughts and feelings on the verge of being dug back up, just as she was managing to make a quiet, steady life for herself, she went home and deleted her account. She had very few people in her life now, and that was just perfect for her.

"Han?"

Rick was crouched right in front of her. She hadn't even noticed. He cocked his head, frown lines etched deep with worry, and offered her some food.

She met his gaze and shook her head.

"You haven't eaten since before…" His gaze dropped, unwilling to speak of the horrors they had witnessed. "You must be hungry."

"No."

He sat down next to her and they both stared at the fire in silence. After a little while she relented and held out her hand. He passed her the small ration of rice and squirrel meat, courtesy of Carol and Tyrese and what was left of their supplies. He put his arm around her as she started to eat, and pulled her closer, planting a kiss on top of her head.

"What's on your mind?" he asked, letting go of her.

"I…Nothing."

"Not very convincing."

She couldn't bring herself to tell him about all the mixed feelings running through her head about the man who had come so close to killing them, who had killed and eaten so many before them. The man who had orchestrated the entire fucked up situation and the little community that allowed it all to happen.

One thing that had been running through her head since their escape was whether or not Gareth would have let them go through with it. She was last in line for the slaughter. She shouldn't have even been there in the first place – it was obvious from the start it was intended to be an all-male cull. That little detail stuck in her skin like a splinter. What had been his endgame?

"We survived once again. That's what's important, right?"

She sounded so tired. She'd lost a lot of the spark he'd helped to bring out of her from the start. It was alarming to see what had once been such a bright fire now burning so low. He couldn't see her being one of the suicidal ones – they'd been through far too much; terrible, things that would have driven some of the strongest people mad, yet none of it had. This couldn't be the breaking point. They'd come too far.

"Is this about him?" Rick asked, his jaw clenched, a dark anger burning distantly in his eyes.

"I hadn't seen him in so long. I figured he'd be dead by now. I never would have thought… He was a good person when I knew him."

"The good people don't survive, Han. They're a dying breed."

"I don't understand how he got to that point."

"There are a lot of fucked up people left. They're the ones who survive."

"How do you even tell the difference these days?"

It was meant rhetorically, but he answered anyway. "Think of it this way; we've been through some of the worst things a person can go through – all of us. Yet we continue to live every day with the same basic morals we began with. It takes a different kind of person to turn into what they did."

"But that's just it. We've gone through Hell and, compared to that mess, we came out relatively okay. We're alive, and we carry on that code, like you said; basic human decency. It makes you wonder what sort of fucked up things people have to be put through to even have that thought cross their mind. That their only option to survive, was to…to do that to another human being. It's kill or be killed, sure. But that's a step beyond. That's…"

"We aren't who we used to be, Han. But we aren't that. We will never be that. There's always a choice. Always another way."

"What if there wasn't? What if they were pushed to such extremes, it was their only option? Would you rather die before having to do that? Rather your children-"

She had taken the conversation one step too far.

"I don't understand the conversation we're having here. Are you defending them? After what they've done? You don't owe him anything, Hannah."

"I'm just trying to make sense of it. It can't be as black and white as you try to make it. I know that's easier, it's you protecting the group. But we can't jump to conclusions-"

"I need you to think about what you're saying. I don't know where your head is, but I need it with us. I need it with me, right now."

She nodded, but the gesture was empty.

"These are not the people you used to know. That was a different life."

She thought of Alex lying dead and naked on the table, half-carved up like a cow at the butcher's, his eyes cold and vacant.

"Rick?"

He stopped. She was staring at him now, eyes suddenly full of an understanding that was crushing her.

"What was it like for you…killing Shane?"

His first thought was one of anger, shocked she would bring that up now of all times. Then he knew. _What was it like killing someone you used to know because they'd become something you would never have thought possible?_

"I did what I had to."

He stood up, mind heavy with bad memories, and returned to the fire to sit beside his baby daughter and Carl.

She wondered if she could do it, if it came to that. Then she prayed she and Gareth would never cross paths ever again.

* * *

"This is a stupid idea. We should have gotten out of here when we had the chance. Why would you lead us back here? Those things are everywhere!"

Gareth stared back at his brother. Standing beside him, their mother held the same blank expression she had for days now. Her sons had held her back as she tried to run to a little boy's defense much too late, screaming hysterically as he was torn apart in front of them. It was only days earlier they had begun to watch the small band of survivors they had picked up along the way – one of the teachers from the local high school, a nurse, a lady they vaguely recognized from the grocery store and one of their neighbors' children, the only one to survive from that family – be reduced one by one by the walkers.

"She might be there, we don't know. Not everyone got out."

"What difference does it make?"

"It makes a difference to me. Everyone else is dead. Everyone we know is dead." He bit back the bile rising in his throat, stabilizing the horror as he rephrased, "Everyone we knew."

The first sign of life was the floodlights. Gareth was blinded as he stepped onto the front lawn of his ex-girlfriend's house. It had been a long time since he had last been there, but it still looked almost the same as the image he had preserved in his memory. He wondered if she did. He had found Hannah's Facebook account inexplicably deleted after he returned from his spur-of-the-moment trip to Dubai, funded by his girlfriend of the time's parents, to study the architecture there. Alex had heard through a friend that she'd inherited her old house after her mother's passing. He'd wanted to send her a message, maybe try to reconnect a little even after all their years apart, but all he'd found was a message from months earlier congratulating him on his study, no sign of the person who'd sent it.

Stepping up onto the porch, crowbar raised, heart racing and ears on high alert, he did something that, in hindsight, seemed so ridiculous given the circumstances. He raised his hand and knocked on the front door. Alex held his mother close as they stood on the front lawn, trembling. In the distance they could hear the moans of walkers looking for their next feed. He looked around for any approaching danger, then up at the house. Was that something in the upstairs window? It might have been a shadow.

"Gareth," he whispered hoarsely. His brother ignored him, eyes darting left to right as he tried to figure out their next move. He rested his head on the door, defeated, and then smacked it hard with the crowbar. Everyone was gone. How was that possible? There had to be someone. This couldn't be it.

He nearly fell forward as the door swung open, a rifle aimed right between his eyes. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to see the person wielding it, too dumbstruck to even comprehend a fight or flight response.

Hannah stood in front of him, eyes wide as she registered who it was. She lowered the gun.

"Gareth?"

Without even thinking he lunged forward and hugged her. Someone was alive. Somebody they knew was still alive.

Too stunned to hug back, Hannah watched Alex and Mary step hesitantly onto her front porch. Alex gave an involuntary sound of disbelief and even his mother seemed to recognize what was happening, her eyes slightly brighter than before.

Gareth let go of her and moved aside to let his family in. He shoved the door closed behind them and leant back against it, running his hands over his face like it was the first relief he'd felt in weeks.

He looked at Hannah, who was still processing this current revelation. There was something different about her, he thought, she was thinner than he remembered, but that could have come from the current circumstances. No, it wasn't that. Though there was one thing he did notice hadn't changed about her, and that was the look of resentment she never failed to give him.

* * *

"I haven't seen anyone alive for a while. I was starting to think it was just me. Every now and then I'd hear screams…"

Hannah passed out some food, stopping to look at Mary who hadn't spoken a word. Gareth glanced at his mother and down at the can of soup, taking up a spoonful of it.

"We met a few people on the road. Lost them."

"Where were you heading?" Hannah asked.

"The city, originally. I figured that would be the safest place, since it had the highest concentration of military safe zones. I picked up Alex first, drove to ma's place. Had to hoof it most of the way, in the end. Didn't make it far. The roads are blocked. Abandoned cars. Lots of bodies. A lot of…those things. We started with the neighbors and realized there was no point. We were putting ourselves at risk for no reason. There was nobody left. We packed up what supplies we could when we realized we couldn't stay in one place too long. It's like they know. You can take all the precautions. No fire, no light, no sound. Somehow they still find you. They found us. Every time."

Hannah eyed their makeshift weapons and shifted her hand backwards onto the bench, fingers brushing against the butt of her gun. It was a comfort knowing it was close by.

"We had to take down a few. It's hard, you know? I don't really know what they are. But they can't be human, right?"

"Not anymore," Hannah agreed.

"They would have killed us," Alex murmured.

"We made a decision to pick up anyone we could along the way. Maybe see if anyone else we knew was still alive. Alex's girlfriend…."

Alex stared down at the floor. He hadn't touched any of his beans.

Gareth sighed and tried to continue.

"We've got a lot of family interstate. But I'm not feeling very optimistic at this point. I don't know what to do next. This could be it," he said, and she knew he didn't mean just for them. "I mean, the city…Is there any chance –"

"They bombed half the city with napalm. The rest is overrun. No point."

"You've been in there?" Alex asked, hope draining from his eyes.

Hannah leant back against the kitchen counter, ran her fingers through her hair, and nodded. She took a long drink from her water bottle.

"Went in there once. Managed to grab a few useful things before they came after me. There were hundreds. The military were overrun not long after setting up the safe points. The survivors would have gotten out while they could. Assuming there were any."

She could see that the small family was taking this news hard. Everyone had relied on the military to get them out of this situation, to protect them at least until somebody, somewhere found a cure for all this. Hannah's gut instinct had been to stay where she was – even when the soldiers began making sweeps through her neighborhood. The city had been Gareth's plan, and she couldn't blame him for instinctually associating civilization for salvation. She didn't have a plan of action. She knew she didn't want to die, but she also knew that staying put wouldn't be an option forever. Eventually she'd need to leave, whether it was to expand the search for supplies, scout the surrounding suburbs for others, maybe other military bases. The CDC was even worth a shot – anything was at this point.

Around them, dozens of candles burned. With the windows boarded up, it was one of the few places where light was safe. The soft flame light flickered across Gareth's face as he took this in. He seemed in desperate need of another human's opinion; he was scared for himself, for his family. He needed to have this discussion with more than just his family. They were all out of ideas.

"There's room and supplies here," she began, before her mind could catch up with her mouth, "You could stay here."

Not that she had planned on sending them back out into the nightmare outside, but hearing those words seemed to lift their moods significantly.

"I've reinforced what I could. We should be safe for the time being."

"Thank-you," Gareth said, relief in his words.

Alex echoed his gratitude.

They continued eating the contents of their cans while Hannah did a perimeter check. Everything was secure. When she returned to the kitchen, Alex was trying to convince their mother to eat something. He looked up at her with a hopeless frown as she refused to even feign interest.

"She saw a kid get taken the other day," Gareth explained, appearing from the hallway behind her. Hannah wasn't startled. She'd heard him coming; her ears trained to even the smallest sounds after the days of silence in the house. Curious, he'd followed her, watching her familiar routine of door and window checking. "She hasn't spoken since then."

Hannah watched Alex try again. This time Mary took the spoon from him, as if suddenly remembering how to use the utensil herself, and popped the food into her mouth, her expression still blank as she chewed.

"I rigged up a temporary water heater if you guys want showers."

Alex and Gareth exchanged astonished looks, even managed smiles.

"You're….that's…..how?" Gareth asked.

A chuckle escaped her lips.

"Well I'm not exactly time-poor these days."

"Have you been inside the house this whole time?" Alex asked, to clarify.

"No. That hasn't been option. Food runs out. Basic supplies run out. I get bored."

"But those things are out there."

She didn't know the best way to tell them she wasn't afraid. To say, 'I killed my father a few weeks ago and buried him in my backyard. Those things walking the streets are nothing.'

From the upstairs window, one that overlooked the street below and gave her one of the best vantage points, she had watched people come and go. Most of them were simply passing, no signs of immediate danger in the vicinity. A couple of times she'd watched people come face to face with the dead things and freeze. ' _Your life is in danger, why don't you shoot?'_ she'd thought, the first time she'd witnessed it _._

The second time she'd pondered on it longer. Was it the humanoid factor? Were they not sure if the person was curable? Was it that basic rule they'd all grown up with; thou shalt not kill? Or was it just fear? She'd seen countless people die in these situations – too afraid to make the first move and save their own lives.

The first time she had faced off against one, she'd felt shock and fear for her life, but had not hesitated to fight back to preserve it. Though it wasn't the first time she'd had to make that decision, and maybe that made it easier. The survivor's instinct had kicked in just in time for her, though not everyone was so fortunate. People had become so comfortable with their scheduled lives, relying on other people to provide food and protection – it was always as easy as buying what you needed from a supermarket, and knowing that the local law enforcement had your back in the event of trouble. With these basic safety nets taken away, people panicked. And there was nothing more stupid and dangerous than a stunned, panicked person who had lived too comfortably for too long.

* * *

After they'd had their fill of canned food, Hannah took the three survivors up to her spare room, apologizing for not having enough beds for everyone; that they'd have to share the one queen, or someone would have to take the couch. She felt weird about offering for someone to share with her, knowing that the brothers, in a chivalrous gesture, would have refused the offer themselves, but have offered instead that their mother take it.  
Observing Mary's empty expression from the doorway, as the woman took a seat at the end of the spare bed, Hannah realized she wouldn't have been comfortable sharing it with her anyway. People were becoming unpredictable. The same woman who had personally invited her to Thanksgiving dinner after hearing that Hannah's mother had slipped into a coma and her father was MIA, could now be on the verge of a violent outburst. She didn't want to be on the receiving end of it if she did snap.

"Thank-you. Again," Alex said, returning from the bathroom, his hair still a little damp but his face refreshed from the small luxury.

"What was I supposed to do? Turn you away?"

Alex smiled and Hannah couldn't help but return the gesture. He and his brother both had contagious smiles. Contagious, handsome smiles. It was strange for these thoughts to be returning again. They felt like thoughts from a different life.

"I wouldn't have blamed you if you did. All things considered."

"Because of what happened with Gareth? That was ages ago, man. I wouldn't have left you guys out there to die because of that. "

He smiled again and she realized he had been joking. She hid her embarrassment behind her own awkward grin and looked over her shoulder, towards her bedroom at the end of the hall.

"Anyway, I'm going to get some sleep. Hopefully you guys will too. If it gets too warm in here, you can open the window. They can't get up this high. I don't think they can climb at all, actually, so we're pretty safe. Night."

"G'night," Alex replied. "Oh, Gareth's still using the shower I think."

Since she hadn't planned on guests, the only shower Hannah had connected to the water heater was the one in her ensuite.

"That's alright."

"I don't think he'll be long."

She nodded, but stopped herself short of saying 'Nothing I haven't seen before', realizing his mother was still in the room.

The shower sounded from the bathroom as she sat on her bed, rifle beside her. She felt for the knife under her pillow, then checked to make sure the baseball bat she kept under her bed was still in place. You could never be too prepared these days. The sound of the running water was relaxing, familiar. The moment it stopped, she felt a knot form in her stomach. It was the first time since he'd arrived that she would be alone with him.

He stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed, spotting her on the bed as he dried his hair with a towel.

"Sorry. Invading your space a little here."

"Nah, it's okay. How was your shower?"

"You wouldn't believe the color of the water that came off me."

They both chuckled, but avoided eye contact.

"I know this is the first chance you've had to relax in a while, but how do you feel about coming on a supply run tomorrow?"

He did not look at all enthusiastic about the idea, but managed a horribly forced nod of approval.

"We're running low already?"

"Well, I didn't want to say anything, but you guys looked like you hadn't eaten in a long while. Those cans were supposed to last me the next few days."

"Now I feel bad."

"You should," she joked.

When he looked at her to make sure she wasn't being serious, he was met with a smile he hadn't seen in a long time. Her awkward, unsure smile had been one his favorite little things about her when they had been dating. He had found it adorable, too sweet to resist, and so had planted a kiss on her lips every time it made an appearance, never failing to make her blush.

Recalling this old ritual, he looked away. Hannah turned her attention to the weapon beside her.

"How are you guys for weapons?" she asked, watching him fold his damp towel. He glanced at her for a suggestion as to where he should put it, but when she gave no indication, he placed it on the bathroom counter and took a seat on the corner of the bed.

"Alex had this rusty old axe for a while, but the handle was rotten. It was pretty useless after it broke. Ma had a handgun she bought a few years back. She had a home invasion scare," he threw in, catching a questioning look from Hannah. "Just wanted to feel safe. Didn't seem to realize she probably should have learned how to use it too. Lost it down the side of a riverbank when we were attacked. I've got my crowbar. Stumbled across it, literally. It was sticking out of a doorjamb. Whoever the previous owner was, they didn't stick around long enough to actually get the door open."

"Three guesses why."

He nodded.

"One person's misfortune became a stroke of luck for me. We even got the door open in the end."

"I have a feeling that'll be the case a lot now. Benefiting from other people's misfortune, I mean. Easiest pickings for me so far was a car accident up the road. You guys probably passed it on the way in. Three car pile-up – God knows what happened – no survivors that I could see. Human or…otherwise. Though a few of the original occupants were still inside."

Her expression became grim as she recalled the scene.

"They'd packed enough to get the hell out of here and last on the road for a good while. The amount of supplies kept me going for a long time."

"You didn't feel weird, though? Scavenging like that?"

"Of course I did. I still think about them, whenever I see them dead or moving about on the streets, right before I take them down. I think about the person they were before. How they became one of them. The bite marks usually tell the story. It makes me realize how quickly things can turn on you. They probably weren't thinking that it would happen to them. It could happen to me too."

Gareth was quiet for a moment.

"When you were on your own with no one watching your back, sure. But now you've got us. We'll look out for each other. It'll be easier in now."

He smiled a gentle, confident smile like it was the start of something bigger and better. She admired his optimism. It was nice to have it around again after living in a basic state of neutrality for so long.

"So about Alex and your mum. How are they with fighting, you know, if they have to?"

"You know ma. She's tough. She might look vulnerable now, but she'd fight if she had to. Alex…it's been hard for him. Seeing his girlfriend get taken really shook him up. It was hard for a while. He was weak. Lost the will to keep going. I'll admit I kept an eye out for weapons he might get his hands on, in case he decided to, you know... I had to take charge. Protect them, lead them on. Keep up the morale. In a lot of ways it felt like I was the only one still fighting. Then one day ma almost got taken and Alex just seemed to snap out of it. He took out five of them on his own. Now he's fine. Same old Alex. I've still got hope that the same thing will happen to ma. I mean, of course I want to protect her and keep her alive…"

He lowered his voice in case she could hear from down the hall. "But that kind of constant reliance is draining, especially in these circumstances. I'll admit, it's a burden. It has been for both of us. I'd hate for my brother and I to die all because she's decided to give up the fight."

He lowered his face into his hands as soon as the words left his mouth, realizing how awful they sounded.

"I sound like a monster, don't I? Talking about my own mother like that. Like I'd prefer it if she died."

Remembering who he was talking to, he looked up to see if his words had triggered anything in his ex. Hannah had a faraway look on her face.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he said, assuming she was thinking back to her own mother's passing.

"Don't worry about it. I'm kind of glad she didn't have to go through all this, in a way. To see what the world became. But I know exactly what you mean. Why do you think I've been on my own so long? I've had people come by, some in groups looking for supplies. They were happy enough to leave me be, some even offered for me to join them. Sort of a 'last survivors' club. Others didn't come so gently, but I dealt with them too, and they left me well alone afterwards."

"And then there was us."

She nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, then you guys rocked up. It's nice in a way, to not be alone. You get into your own head too much when you are."

"You always were in your head too much," Gareth replied, and her smile widened.

"Yeah, well..."

"So this supply run tomorrow. What are we in for?" he asked, changing the subject when he realized they were on the verge of awkward reminiscing.

"It's a convenience store," Hannah replied, her faraway gaze suggesting deeper thoughts even as she spoke, "Only a few blocks from here. I've passed it a few times while scouting the area and clearing houses. Not sure what state it's in on the inside, but the roller shutters are still down. Never know, there's a possibility it's still fully stocked."

"Sounds like it's worth a look."

"Definitely. If we're in luck, that'll cover us for food and possibly water, though the taps are still working for now. I want to be prepared for when they cut out. Could be any day now. Then there's also–"

She hesitated. She had yet to mention to them any actual details pertaining to her current weapons assortment, or where they were situated throughout the house. She was still testing the waters – not yet one hundred percent sure how much she could trust them. In these situations, when people were scared, they panicked. People who panicked made mistakes. She couldn't risk it. Especially looking into Mary's broken face, seeing the potential for a fatal meltdown.

She'd already nearly had her head blown off by her neighbor of five years – the woman she'd had over for dinner numerous times, whose kids she had watched when date night rolled around, the same woman who had taken her shopping after a bad break-up. Stepping into her kitchen after finding the back door ajar, Hannah had been met by a wild-eyed woman with blood splattered clothes and gore soaked hair, who only remotely resembling the person she had once known.

"Why are you here?" her neighbor had spat at her, brandishing her husband's shotgun as well as a person who had never touched a gun in their life could. She sounded on the verge of hysteria. "Why are you here? They already took my boys. Daniel's gone. They already took them."

Too startled to respond, Hannah had backed out of the house, dropping the unopened box of Cheerios she'd found in the cupboard. A few days later, she'd heard a gunshot from the house. After that, nothing.  
She'd later returned for the Cheerios, keeping her eyes trained forward so she wouldn't have to see the body in the corner of the kitchen, gun still in its mouth.

"What?" Gareth asked, breaking her from her thoughts.

"We'll start with the food, go from there."

"Sounds good."

Feeling his gaze linger on her, she realized she'd been silent for too long.

"I might turn in for the night," she said, "I've put some stuff down on the couch. Not sure what you guys wanna do in regards to sleeping arrangements."

Sensing this was her subtle way of telling him to leave, Gareth nodded.

"We'll work it out. At least we're indoors, right?"

Hannah smiled.

"Oh, by the way", she added, "Don't be alarmed if you hear shots during the night. They build up in my front yard sometimes. Best to take them out before they get a chance to break down the door."


	2. Chapter 2: Old Wounds

**OLD WOUNDS**

Gareth was startled awake the next morning by the sound of gunshots. He instinctively reached for his crowbar, before realizing it was already clutched in his hand. For a long time now he had slept with the weapon held tightly, resting it on his chest. That habit had started the day after Alex lost Alicia.

Now, as he tried to make things out in the surrounding darkness, a soft light approached from the staircase.

"Here. Eat", the person behind the light said, tossing him a bag of food.

Hannah placed the candle in a stand on the coffee table in front of him.

"We need to move off soon."

"This early?" he muttered, rubbing the sleep from his face with a quick motion of his hands.

"Best time to go is just as the sun's coming up," Hannah explained, "Those things are sluggish. Most of the time they're already distracted by meals they've found during the night. People are more unassuming when it's dark. Seem to think that they're hidden, that those things can't see 'em. Don't realize they can smell them."

Gareth, still half-asleep, picked up the little Ziploc bag Hannah had tossed on him. It was filled with dried fruit and nuts. Still looking confused, he sat up and began to eat.

He watched Hannah, as she took a seat on the arm of the sofa across from his, her hands resting on her rifle. Her expression was particularly stormy this morning.

She had dreamt about him, her subconscious dredging up memories of their relationship and the way it had ended. She had woken up with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and the dull pang of anxiety in her chest. She should never have let them in.

By the time they were on the road, Gareth found it very clear that something was amiss, as he jogged to keep up with her.

"Hannah?" he called out, "Hey, Hannah!"

She slowed and spun around to glare at him, her rifle clutched to her chest.

"Is your plan to bring out all the stragglers in the neighborhood? I mean, if it is, keep going, by all means."

"Why are you so pissed?" he asked, his voice slightly lower this time.

"I'm used to doing this on my own. I know what's safe and what isn't when I'm on the road. Making a lot of noise isn't."

"That's not what I meant."

She turned around and continued walking.

"You don't think we should probably get this out of the way now. I don't want to get into trouble in this store and have you finally get your revenge." He gave a laugh to sound like he was joking, but she realized he thought she might actually do that to him. The thought had crossed her mind a few times, to be fair. After the dream she'd had, she realized she had never really forgiven him. Him and all the other men who had used her or hurt her. Deep down, she hoped they had all met bad fates, unlike the man in front of her.

"Alright, I had a dream about you last night, okay? It brought back a lot of bad feelings. It reminded me of…of exactly how I felt when you broke things off."

They stared at one another until their attention was drawn to a couple of roamers heading their way. Hannah shouldered her gun and drew her knife from its sheath, creeping towards them and taking them out with two swift jabs.

Gareth watched with his crowbar gripped tightly, barely shifting from where he stood. She glanced over at him and shook her head, wiping the blade on a soiled cloth she carried for that singular purpose.

"Little help next time?" she told him.

"Sorry. You just…you looked like you had it," he replied, frowning.

"Well, this isn't my first rodeo," she replied, words slathered in sarcasm. "Let's keep moving. We want to be there and back before sundown."

The convenience store was just as she has said it would be. The metal shutters that covered its exterior were still rolled down, though there were a few signs here and there of attempted forced entry. A couple of abandoned cars blocked the front entrance, but that wasn't where they were aiming for.

"There's a back entry," Hannah told him as they drew closer, "Only part that's not covered by the shutters. Should be easy enough to get through, especially with that." She nodded to the crowbar he was carrying.

"Worth a shot."

They cleared the side of the building and were about to round the corner when Hannah stopped and shoved him back.

"What?" he mouthed at her, rubbing his chest.

"There's a whole heap of them back there," she replied in her quietest whisper.

"So now what?"

She looked around at the abandoned cars for an idea.

"We'll have to draw them out so we can get in there."

"How do you suggest we do that?"

"I've got an idea."

* * *

The car alarm screamed the presence of intruders much louder than she had anticipated, but it seemed to do the job. The horde began to shuffle away from the back entrance, following each other like a herd of startled sheep. When the last of the stragglers had disappeared, they ran for the door, Gareth wedging his crowbar in the jamb just below the lock. After a few hard yanks, they heard a click and the door swung open. Hannah took out her knife again and closed the door behind them. Though the lock was damaged from the force, it held. Just.

She was amazed to see that very little of the store had been touched, as if the owner had locked up for the night, gone home, and simply never come back. She checked every aisle, behind the counter and in the employee restroom, but there were no signs of movement, living or otherwise.

"This is unbelievable. We could get by for weeks on this. Maybe months, if we stretched it," she said to Gareth, picking up a bag of potato chips and tossing it to him.

"All junk food?"

"You're right. Let's try the organic market next door."

He smiled and placed his crowbar on the front counter before vaulting over it.

"A couple of crates back here we could use to carry stuff," he told her.

"Nice. Pass them over and we'll start loading up. Hey, what kind of candy does Alex like?"

"Um, Junior Mints, I think. Why?"

She held up two handfuls worth. "I guess he's going to love me."

He snorted and she looked up.

"What?"

"Alex had a huge crush on you when we were at school. Maybe you should have dated him, instead of me."

"Maybe I should have," she only half-joked, approaching the counter. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned forward against it to see what he was doing.

"Too bad none of us smoke," he said, dumping dozens of cartons of cigarettes onto the ground.

"What are you doing back there?"

"You know, I just realized I was looking for money, and now I have no idea why."

"Well, it's pretty ingrained."

"Ah, here we go."

He pulled up a box of matches and another of cigarette lighters.

"Nice."

He dumped the items into one of the boxes and kept searching, while Hannah grabbed another box and headed for one of the aisles.

Amongst some of the usual items he found were batteries, bottles of aspirin and some torches. He spotted a selection of condoms and picked up a pack, looking over at Hannah as she tossed packets of instant noodles into her box, then he thought better of it and placed it back on the shelf.

"Oh god," he heard from towards the back of the shop.

"What is it?" he asked, reaching for his crowbar.

"Don't go near the milk fridges," she choked, and he chuckled.

He soon joined her, finding more than enough to fill their load in the form of candy, potato chips and granola bars.

"I still can't believe this," she said, as they made their way back to the entrance, "This is great."

They pulled the door open and the roamers began to pour in.

"Fuck!"

They dropped the boxes, Hannah's spilling over the floor as she stepped back and tripped.

"Gareth!"

"I've got you," he said, pulling her to her feet and raising his crowbar, but somehow unable to bring himself to swing it. There were around ten of them inside by that time, shuffling down the aisles as they continued to back away towards the register.

"In here," Gareth said, vaulting over the counter for a second time. Hannah climbed up and slid over to the other side. He pulled her closer to the back wall. "I don't think they can climb."

He was proven right as they crammed themselves up against the sides counter, arms stretched out towards them as they moaned their hunger.

"I don't want to use the rifle in here," Hannah said, "It'll draw more of them in."

"I think the crowbar should be long enough to reach," he replied, testing out the theory as he stabbed one of them through the eye. For a moment the weapon seemed stuck, then he pulled it free and moved on to the next one. One by one they began to fall, until finally only a few stragglers were left at the other end of the shop.

"Little help next time?" Gareth joked, out of breath. Hannah smiled, and leaned forward to check that they were all down for good. When she felt certain, she slid back over through the pool of gore that now covered the counter, and helped Gareth jump over. They took out the remnants of the horde and then headed for the door once more. Gareth checked the area outside was clear whilst Hannah salvaged what she could of their pickings.

"We're all good to go," he told her, failing to see the dead woman creep up behind him.

"Gareth!" Hannah called out, but he wasn't quick enough. In a matter of seconds the woman had him on the floor as he desperately tried to push her off. Dropping her box of supplies once more, Hannah ran towards him, picking up the crowbar he had dropped as he fell. She swung the curved end up through the dead woman's jaw and yanked her back off of him, before stabbing her through the head with her knife. She attempted to yank the crowbar free while Gareth got back onto his feet, but it seemed caught on something. She gave a final yank, and the woman's jaw came clean away from her head. Gareth stared for a moment, then turned away and threw up.

"How'd you guys go?" Alex asked when they finally made it back. He noted the blood all over the back of Hannah's clothes and his brother's pale complexion.

"All in all," Hannah began, tossing him a box of Junior Mints, "I think it was well worth the trip."

* * *

Gareth lay on the couch that night, unable to sleep. On the coffee table across from him, a candle burned steadily, its warm glow lending him some comfort. He tried to block out the occasional scratching sound that came from the front door.

Sitting up, he decided to go see if Alex was still awake. As he passed Hannah's room, he found the door open a crack, a pillar candle burning on her bedside. She looked up from cleaning her rifle.

"Can't sleep either?" he asked her.

"Not usually," she replied, "This helps clear my head."

She stared at him a moment then jerked her head for him to join her.

"I was actually on my way to see if Alex is awake, but I have a feeling he's sound asleep. Not like he saw what we did today."

Outside, somewhere in the neighborhood, a walker snarled in the dark as it caught scent of its next victim. Gareth stared off towards the window, realizing he had left his crowbar downstairs. Hannah watched him.

"Sit down," she invited, taking pity on him, "They can't get to us in here."

* * *

It suddenly felt like old times, sitting around after dark, talking, sharing thoughts. It was surreal.

"So the whole architecture thing, huh. I'll be honest, I always thought you'd end up in some African village in the middle of nowhere, building houses with a big charity organization like those ads on TV."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "You were part of so many of those protest groups. Always raising funds for something."

"Oh, well, sorry for caring about the disadvantaged," he laughed. "You know what, this is going to sound awful, but I kind of outgrew it. My priorities changed after high school."

"Everyone's did. How long were you with Marla?"

He ran his fingers through his hair and pursed his lips as he thought about it. Hannah wondered if he knew how attractive he looked doing that. She tried to stop her mind from going there, but, watching him, she couldn't help it.

"About four months after grad. She was….things didn't work out very well. I had a lot of big plans for myself and she just sort of hassled me when I couldn't give her the time she wanted."

A flash of recognition passed across Hannah's face and she suddenly became very interested in her fingernails, avoiding his gaze. Gareth wet his lips, preparing for the talk he knew he had to have with her since she'd brought it up on the way to the convenience store.

Hannah looked around the room innocently, suddenly not quite sure if this was something she wanted to discuss. It wasn't often you got to actually have the conversation you'd imagined over and over again with your ex; the 'so what really happened to us?' talk.

"I really felt like a coward, ending things the way I did."

Hannah frowned. "Coward? It's not like you ended it by text."

Her attempt to lighten the situation didn't seem to work, as he stared at the floor with a self-deprecating expression.

"You know why I did it? Because I couldn't think of a way to help you."

"What?"

"When you told me what your dad was doing to you, I wanted to help you. I really did. But I couldn't think of anything that I could do. I had this stupid idea that I would be some knight in shining armor for you – I know, it's a stupid male ego thing – but instead I felt powerless. That's really not a feeling I enjoy, I'll be honest. And every time I saw you, you reminded me of that. So I had to end it. I know it was selfish of me. It was very fucking selfish, actually."

He stretched out on the bed beside her, trying too hard to look casual as he spoke the harsh words. He avoided eye contact with her, afraid to see her resentment. She slid off the bed and walked over to her bedroom window, staring out at the stray dead wandering aimlessly down her street.

"I always thought it was because you started to see me differently or something."

He cocked his head, frowning as he braced himself for what might come next.

"What do you mean?"

"Like you thought it was too messed up to even get involved in. I wouldn't have blamed you. I didn't… blame you, exactly. But I was pretty pissed off."

He smiled sheepishly and she turned back from the window.

"If it makes you feel any better, I felt really shitty for a long time because of that."

Hannah glanced at him, then back at the window, unforgiving.

"Good. Because I did too."

Minutes passed, while Hannah continued to stare out the window. Gareth watched her, waiting.

"We should start fresh," she sighed, finally breaking the silence. "This really isn't a time to be holding grudges. I'm glad we had this talk, though. Sort of cleared up a bunch of stuff for me."

Her voice was tight as she spoke, the dredged up emotions flooding back to her.

"I wanted to make sure you knew why I did it. I really didn't want to hurt you, Hannah, not if I could have helped it. I tried to make it a clean break. You deserved that. We were pretty good together, for what it's worth."

"If this is turning into a 'if I was the last man on earth' conversation, I think it's time for bed."

Gareth laughed a little too loudly, the laugh of someone who had finally managed to clear the air.

"Yours or mine?" he joked.

She turned to look at him, the way he was lying so casually on her bed with his playful smirk, an open invitation. She realized she was considering it and turned away, embarrassed.

"What was that?" he teased, sitting up with a grin.

"Your cue to leave."

He laughed again and got to his feet, stretching. She turned her head and watched subtly as his shirt rose up a little, glimpsing a flash of his waist and the thin trail of hair she had once enjoyed running her fingers up and down, knowing how it drove him crazy.

Outside, the wind began to pick up to a dull roar as the storm drew closer. The first droplets of rain began to fall against the window and Hannah could almost feel the cold creeping in. Realizing Gareth had moved closer to her instead of towards the door, she crossed her arms and fought the impulse to ask him to stay the night.

"Everything is boarded up pretty tight, right?" he asked, staring out the window at the trees as the branches were battered back and forth against the wind.

"Yeah. I wouldn't be worried. Like I said we're safe."

He nodded but something was bothering him, she could see it on his face.

"What?"

He looked pained to tell her, as if he didn't want to make a fuss.

"I, uh, don't really like the couch set up. It's…a bit close to the front door. There were a few of them banging on it last night. I forgot to blow out the candle before I went to sleep. Stupid mistake, I know, but the thought of waking up in the middle of the night to find them surrounding me. I'd feel safer upstairs, I think."

"That's fine."

"With you."

She frowned and turned to face him, hoping to see a mocking smile. He was staring out the window down to the street below, and it was then she realized he was truly scared.

* * *

Gareth had slipped into a comfortable sleep despite his relatively meagre set-up on the floor of Hannah's room. She had given in enough to let him stay in the same space, but was loath to let him share a bed with her again. He seemed happy enough with the sleeping bag and pillows.

On the night stand next to her, a pillar candle burned steadily while she continued to clean her gun. Gareth had spent a bit of time watching her, making attempts to start a conversation, but after sensing her need for silence, had turned in for the night. She glanced down at him occasionally, grateful for the company. After so much time alone, she finally felt a sense of normalcy having someone else around. Odd, since she'd never had much company to begin with, but the presence of another living human after seeing so many undead was soothing.

Halfway through the night, while she was settling into her own restless sleep after her routine check of all the windows and doors, Hannah felt someone slip into bed with her, their arms wrapping around her and drawing her close. The rain outside began to fall harder, and off in the distance thunder cracked across the sky. Shivering, Hannah shuffled back closer to Gareth, and he responded by tightening his grip.

* * *

Hannah woke in a sweat and tried to sit up, forgetting she had Judith cradled next to her, with Rick's arm wrapped snugly around them both. She kissed baby Judith on the top of her head as she stirred and felt Rick move against her.

"What is it?" he whispered, his voice hoarse from sleep.

"Nothing. Bad dream."

He was silent for a moment, before kissing her the same way she'd kissed Judith. Then he sighed in a contented sort of way and went back to sleep. Hannah glanced around the darkness and spotted Daryl leaning back against a tree on night watch. He was cleaning his nails with the tip of his buck knife, ears pricked for the slightest of sounds. Hearing their voices, he'd looked over with only the faintest of concern. They exchanged a silent understanding as their eyes met, and Hannah wondered if she'd be able to get back to sleep, or if she should keep him company for the rest of his watch, though she didn't want to risk disturbing Judith again. She looked down at the baby, stroking her soft little cheeks in thought, and felt the same gentle ache of affection she got whenever Rick looked at her a certain way. She decided she was comfortable enough where she was, and tried to drift back into the grip of sleep, but the old memories wouldn't leave her be.


	3. Chapter 3: The Way We Were

**THE WAY WE WERE**

When they had woken the following morning, the rain was still spattering against the bedroom window. In the dull grey of the morning, warm in her bed, neither of them had made an attempt to move. It was peaceful – the first peace she had experienced since the morning she'd heard the first screams out on the street. Now there was no sound except for the steady drum of the rain, and the occasional gust of wind.

She turned over and found Gareth already awake, propped up on one elbow and staring out the window again. His eyes flicked to her and he smiled, reaching to run his hand along her side. He caught the way she flinched at his touch. _She still does that_ , he wondered, remembering all the times he'd noticed when they were together. It was only now he realized where the reaction came from. He took his hand away.

"I hope this is okay. I didn't – "

"You wouldn't still be here if it wasn't."

He smiled, but her face remained still, emotionless. He leant forward and kissed her, and when he pulled back saw that she was now smiling too, though it seemed strained. She moved to get out of bed.

"It's funny, when you called things off I had to keep reminding myself it wasn't the end of the world. And now that it is, we're back where we were. Almost. Weird. Never mind. I need coffee. Want some?"

He watched her make her way to the door, and when she looked back for an answer, said, "Sure."

Alex was already downstairs preparing some oatmeal for himself and his mother when Hannah appeared. He was leaning back against the counter, watching the water come to a boil over the little camping stove.

"Sleep well?" she asked.

He looked up, alarmed, as if he hadn't even heard her approach. Not a good sign, she thought.

"Sorry, I was just…thinking. No, not really. With the wind. Every little scrape and scratch sounded like…I thought maybe they were trying to get in."

"Not last night. I thought it was strange. The first night since it started that I haven't had to clear them off the porch."

Alex looked towards the front door, then at the empty couch where Gareth had spent the first night. He turned back to the porridge, pretending not to notice his brother's absence. Hannah was hesitant to mention it, but realizing how obvious it was when she grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, she had little choice.

"He said he didn't feel safe down here. It's a little close to the front door. I mean, I know I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing I was a few feet away from those things."

"You don't have to explain anything. It's understandable. After everything. If Alicia was still…"

He swallowed and focused on stirring the oats.

"Yeah," Hannah nodded.

She waited in silence until he was done so she could begin heating the water for the coffee. She wasn't short on powdered milk, and had even grown to like the taste. A morning coffee had been part of her routine before everything had happened, and she was happy to still have that little luxury to look forward to.

Grabbing a clean pot, she placed it beneath the faucet in the sink and turned on the tap. Nothing.

A feeling of dread crept over her.

* * *

"Water's out," Hannah announced, as she brought in the two mugs of coffee.

Gareth, now standing over by the window, looked over with concern. He scratched weeks of growth on his cheek.

"What does that mean for us? You said you've got water stocked up, right? Just in case something like this happened?"

"It wasn't just in case. This was inevitable. I had a plan, just never the manpower to carry it out."

"Well, now you do, so what's the plan?" he smiled, taking the coffee from her.

"There's a hardware store a few miles away. Further than the convenience store. It would probably take the better part of a day to get there, get what we need, and somehow transport it back. I think we'll need a pickup to get it done. Maybe you can think of something. You always were good with pickups. Just not so much the deliveries."

"Ouch. Never were much of a morning person, were you? You're kind of mean in the morning."

She took a sip from her mug, but he could see the smile playing on her lips.

"You think Alex and your ma will be willing to pitch in?"

Gareth looked down into his cup and swirled the contents around.

"Alex will be fine."

"It's a bit more than a three person job, Gareth."

"Three useful people on their own will be better than one holding them all back. It's not safe for her out there, while she's like this. It's not safe for us. Think about it, us having to stop every five minutes to make sure she's keeping up, not wandering off. If we become surrounded, we can't be worrying about whether or not she's fighting back. It's a good way to get us all killed. She has to stay here."

"I don't know how to put this politely, but I'm not comfortable with leaving her alone in here."

Gareth looked at her and something odd flickered across his face.

"Let's just talk to her, see if we can get her to work with us," Hannah said quickly, realizing he'd picked up on her distrust.

* * *

"I figure, with the way the world is going now, we need to learn to provide for ourselves. That means a sustainable source of food and water. Gareth and I got lucky at that convenience store yesterday, but those supplies won't last forever. Plus, the water was cut off this morning."

"What?"

Hannah and Gareth stood by the doorway in the spare bedroom Alex had been sharing with his mother. He looked up at her now and she could sense the same dread that had hit her that morning when a twist of the tap had not given its usual result.

"It was working fine when I made breakfast," he said.

"Must have cut off right after," Hannah replied.

"But you have more, right?"

"I've got a few tanks, but that's not going to last four people very long. We're going to need some for bathing too, let alone drinking and cooking. Unless we get used to the stink and live off canned food the rest of our lives. Any of you good at hunting?"

She looked over at Gareth, then to Alex, who just stared.

"Yeah, me neither," she replied with a sigh.

"What's the plan, then? You came up with something, right?"

"There's a hardware store not far from here," Gareth broke in, repeating the plan Hannah had divulged to him back in her room, "We can look for water tanks, barrels, anything to collect rainwater in."

"Also, seeds for vegetables so we can maybe make a start on growing our own stuff. At least that'll give us something. Heck, we might even stumble across some fruit trees to plant, who knows. I mean, we have to think long term now, I guess," Hannah added. Gareth glanced at her and she realized she'd spoken as if she'd thought about them staying with her for good. There was something about that thought that made her uncomfortable, though maybe it was just from living alone for so long.

"How are we going to get all this?" Alex asked. Mary was listening, gazing at Hannah while she processed their ideas.

"We'll need a truck. It's going to take more than just the two of us to get it done," Gareth replied, and he looked to his mother.

"Yes, of course" she said, surprising them all.

"We all know how dangerous it is out there. It was admittedly easier when I was making the trips on my own," Hannah continued, "but there were some things I couldn't do by myself. This is one of them. The four of us should make quick work of it. In and out. We just have to find this truck first. That's going to be the main challenge."

"Do you think they might have something there?" Alex wondered, "For making deliveries, or something customers could hire to get their stuff home?"

"It's a possibility. I know they had trailers you could attach to your car. I don't know about trucks."

"Alright, so how about we go there first, scout out the place and find what we need, get it all ready to load, then worry about the transport?" he suggested.

"Probably not a good plan if we have to get out of there quickly," Hannah countered. "We could split up, I guess. Two go look for the transport the other two collect what we need. I've got a couple of radios I picked up from an abandoned military checkpoint. I haven't tried them yet, but if they work we could use them to keep in contact, at least. "

"Let's do that, then," Gareth agreed.

"So when do we do this?" Alex looked out the window as the storm still raged, and wondered how the roamers outside were affected by the weather.

"I kind of wish we'd done it earlier, considering the rain we had last night. Even now I feel like it's going to waste. But I don't think it's worth going out in this. Especially the wind. I'm picturing barrels flying off the back of our truck as we make a break for it. Not worth it."

"What happened to your car?" Gareth asked, thinking back to when they had first arrived and whether or not he remembered seeing it in the driveway.

"Stolen."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Within the first few days of everything going down, one of my neighbors made off with it. Don't know how far they got. I've been on foot ever since."

She didn't want to tell them she'd found it a few weeks later, smashed into the side of a bridge, the thief still inside albeit half-eaten. The car had been unsalvageable.

"We'll wait out the storm, and head out the first chance we get. Mary, do you think you'll be –"

"I'll be fine," she said quietly. "This is something we need to do."

"Yes, it is. But in the meantime I'm going to go outside, clear the area, make sure the lower windows are still boarded up and the yard is secure."

"You're going out?" Alex asked, concerned.

"I did it when I was on my own, I don't see how it's going to be any different now. Just something that has to be done."

"I'll come with you," Gareth suggested.

"Nah, it's fine. Maybe you can be my lookout, let me know if I'm about to be cornered. I'll be fine."

* * *

The force of the wind just about knocked her off her feet as she stepped outside. Gareth had lent her his crowbar after they discussed the use of guns in this circumstance, agreeing that the sound would attract too much attention. She didn't think she should mention the knife under her pillow, or the baseball bat under her bed, but now that they were sharing a room it was only a matter of time before he found both.

She glanced up at her bedroom window, which overlooked the front yard, and smiled at Gareth as he watched. He made a motion suddenly and she turned to see a stray heading towards her. She waited as it shambled towards her on a broken leg, one arm outstretched, the other completely missing from the socket. It made a groaning sound as it lurched forward, but she stepped aside just in time to knock it to the ground. The crowbar slid into its skull with a little force, and it ceased its movements. Running to the right side of the house, Hannah found one of the boards loose on the furthermost window. Cursing, she ran for the back gate, heading for the shed where she kept a few bits and pieces for the DIY she never used to do. Since the gate had been closed, the yard was free from any roamers, giving her clear access. She hurried back with the hammer and a handful on nails, almost running straight into one that had followed her. She let out an involuntary cry and jumped to the side, landing awkwardly on her ankle and losing balance. She managed to smack it on the back of the skull with the hammer as she fell, but lost her handful of nails. The only one she managed to hold onto pierced her skin as she put her hand out to break the fall. She cursed aloud, and spotted another two heading towards her. One of the downsides of living so close to the city, she'd found, was the sheer amount of visitors she seemed to get, both dead and alive.

Hannah heard the front door bang open, and for a moment thought she'd forgotten to lock it, that either the wind had blown it open, or a group of them had burst in. Ripping the hammer from the roamer's skull and forgetting about the nail in her hand, she sprinted for the front yard. Then Gareth appeared, baseball bat in hand, and began pommeling the two that had been approaching her. So he had seen the bat after all.

Sensing the moment of looming catastrophe had passed, she turned back to find the nails she'd spilled. Most of them had managed to slip through the gaps in the porch floor, but she plucked up the ones that were there and began hammering them in. There were only three and she didn't have time to grab the fourth. Looking down at the bloody mess her hand had become, she pulled out the nail, gritting her teeth to keep from yelling.

"Han, we need to get inside," Gareth shouted, his voice sounding distant as it was caught by the wind and rain. She looked over and spotted a horde approaching the house.

"Fuck."

Hammering the final nails into the board and managing to whack her thumb in the process, she checked that the board was now secure, leaving a big bloody handprint in the process, and ran back towards the front door. Gareth ran on ahead, watching her zip past the group as they all reached out for her, and stood by the door, ready to slam it shut behind them.

Once the locks were secure, Gareth looked through the small gap between the boards on the front window and watched them climb the steps to the door. Hannah stood trying to catch her breath, her hand pressed to the stitch in her side. She took one look at Gareth's expression as he turned away from the window, and passed him the hammer, his crowbar forgotten outside.

"Han, your hand," he said, catching sight of the blood.

"No time!"

She ran for the staircase and, breaking from his shock, Gareth followed not far behind.

"What are you –"

He watched her throw open the window and aim a rifle through it, the wind whipping up her hair around her face. She let off a shot, but cursed.

"God damn this wind," she muttered, lining up another attempt at a shot. This time she managed to clip one on the shoulder, but the wind was too much. There was no way she was going to be able to clear them.

"There's too many," she said. "I don't think the door will hold forever and I can't take them out with this wind."

"So what do we do?"

Alex appeared in the doorway looking anxious, hearing the gunshots.

"We'll have to take them out by hand."

The two brothers exchanged looks, then Gareth tossed Alex the hammer. He caught it gore-end first and grimaced, switching hands and wiping the blood on his jumper. Still holding the baseball bat from earlier, Gareth looked to Hannah. She reached under her pillow and pulled out a Bowie knife, ignoring the looks she received.

"Let's go."

There were more than she had expected – seven or eight at least. The moment she pulled open the door, the two closest to them collapsed inside and the others began to climb over them.

"Go!" Hannah shouted, and they launched into the attack, bringing their weapons down as hard as they could manage. Blood and brain matter splattered both them and the surrounding walls, but they continued their onslaught, pressing through to the last of the stragglers. When they finally had the last one down, they each stopped, out of breath and their arms aching from the force of each blow.

Hannah stared down at the pile of corpses and the blood staining her rug.

"We need to move them out of here and get this place locked up again," she said, between heavy breaths, "Don't know if my shots attracted many more, but I don't really want to wait around and find out."

The boys nodded. Suddenly, Alex slipped to ground, landing with a heavy thud and a shout. One of the dead from the bottom of the pile had grabbed hold of his leg and was pulling it towards their mouth, choking on its own blood.

"Alex!" Hannah cried. Gareth froze, unsure of what to do. In that moment of indecision, Hannah had moved forward and brought her knife down in the middle of the its arm, severing it completely. Alex scuttled backwards away from it as she stuck her knife through its head. They stared at her, eyes wide.

"What happened back there? You can't hesitate like that," she said to Gareth later, as they cleaned themselves up. With some help from Mary, who had crept downstairs during the commotion, they had moved all the bodies across the street and cleaned up the floor and walls. After that, Gareth had helped her lug up a water cooler bottle to their bathroom to wash with. It wasn't very practical but it was all they had for the moment.

"I don't know."

He rubbed his face with a wet wash cloth and checked himself in the mirror. The blood had gotten into his hair and dried. He had no idea how he was going to get it out.

"Here." Hannah passed him a comb. He ran in through his hair and winced as it caught and pulled on a clump of gristle.

"We should just go stand outside," she joked, listening to the rain continue its steady beat.

"Wasn't that the problem in the first place?"

"Did you think that just because you were coming into a house, that you'd be safe? It's not much better than being out there. There are still risks. Precautions you have to take. If I hadn't gone out there, I wouldn't have known that board had come off the window, and we would have been dealing with a totally different problem."

"No, I know, I know. I just don't want to lose any more people, Han. You know why I hesitated? Because I knew you had it. Like you've had everything since we arrived. I don't know how you've adapted so quickly. We were doing alright out there. I mean, surviving, but it's like you've got this whole thing figured out."

"I swear I had no hand in whatever caused this," she joked, happy to see him smile. He had a sweet smile. It made her think of a little kid. "I guess the collapse of civilization just doesn't bother me as much as it does others."

They both laughed at that.

"How's your hand?"

She tried to flex it with the bandage wrapped tightly around her palm. It wasn't easy, but at least it hadn't been her left hand, the one she used the most. Not that she'd really need it for writing anymore.

"I'm trying to remember when I had my last tetanus shot, to be honest. I think I had one when the older kids got their shots at the school a couple of years ago."

"I don't think tetanus is an issue."

"We'll see. If I die, it's your fault."

He chuckled. "Well, you wouldn't be dead for long."

"That's not funny."

He put down the comb and wiped his hands on the cloth before placing them on her shoulders and turning her towards him. He planted a firm and reassuring kiss on her lips. Hearing a noise, they both turned their heads towards the bedroom door and saw Alex.

"I was, uh, going to offer to make dinner. Wasn't sure what we had in terms of ingredients. I'll just go look. Or come back later, you know, whatever works."

When he had disappeared from view, they found the moment had gone and broke awkwardly apart.

"The rain stopped," she realized, stepping towards the window and pulling it closed. She looked down at the carpet beneath her and heard the distinct squelch of wet material. Groaning, she grabbed a towel from the bathroom rack and threw it over the wet patch of carpet.

"Guess we'll be going tomorrow, then."

"Looks like."

"Hey guys?" Alex called up from downstairs, "How does spaghetti sound?"

* * *

"Where did you get the meat from?" Hannah asked suspiciously, playing with the spaghetti on her plate.

"There was plenty left on the living room floor," Alex replied, then saw her horrified look and added, "Joking! There was some jerky in the cupboard, right at the back. It was out of date, but it looked alright. Hopefully it tastes ok. I think the water softened it a little."

"Ingenious," she replied without much enthusiasm. She had never been a fan of the tough, dry meat. Her father had loved it.

Gareth tried a mouthful and stared at his brother, trying hard not to criticize. Mary sat across from Hannah, her food untouched. She was staring at the bandage wrapped around Hannah's hand.

"Did one of them bite you?" she asked, concerned. The brothers exchanged looks.

"No," Hannah assured her, "I fell on a nail."

"Oh."

"So I was thinking we could go to the hardware store tomorrow. The weather's cleared up a bit, better time than any. And if it does rain again, at least we might be prepared this time."

It was eerie how much this reminded her of her first dinner with the three of them, just after her mother had been admitted to hospital. Gareth had known how much time she had been spending there, seen her turn up to school with unkempt hair, still half asleep from staying the entire night by her mother's side. After speaking with his mother, she had demanded that he invite Hannah over for a home cooked meal. Mary had been a wonderful host; there was never a lull in conversation, and it was always kept light in respect for what Hannah was going through. Gareth had put his hand on her thigh under the table, teasing her as she tried to keep up the chatter. She had ended up staying the night, she remembered, so she didn't have to go home to an empty house, and it had been the first time they'd had sex in a months. It had been wonderful.

As if he was also remembering the same thing, she felt Gareth's hand slip onto her leg. She stopped chewing the tough jerky for a moment, then, feeling his gaze, reached for her glass of water.

"Sounds good," Alex said.

* * *

She was actually surprised that there had still been some condoms laying around in the bottom drawer of her bedside table. Her last boyfriend had been well over a year ago.

Gareth came out from the bathroom, stripped down to his boxer shorts, looking refreshed.

"That brought back a few memories," Hannah said, stretching out on the bed. She sighed and pulled the duvet over her naked body.

"Good ones?" he asked, flopping down next to her.

"I'm going to say yes," she laughed. He traced a finger down her spine and leaned forward to kiss her. "This is weird."

"Sorry," he said, moving his hand away.

"No, not that," she chuckled, "It just never would have even occurred to me that this is where I would be a few weeks after everything that happened. You didn't really even cross my mind until you showed up on my doorstep. No offence."

"No, that's fair. I don't think anyone would have woken up and thought 'Hey, the dead are coming back to life, I wonder how my ex is doing?' I just thought, since I was in the area…"

"How did you know I still lived here?" she frowned, rolling onto her side, head resting on her hand.

"I may have, uh, gone slightly out of my way to find out."

"What?"

"We were heading by a school with the group we ended up with, and Alex mentioned it was the one you were teaching at. I said to the group we should check it out for supplies. While they did that, I went to check the records. Just out of my own curiosity. To see if I could find your address. See if you had survived. We lost one of our guys in there. The rest of the group we lost on the way here."

She was concerned by the way he told the story: without emotion, as if he hadn't lived through it himself.

She moved onto her back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Alex was pissed. Understandably."

"Was his girlfriend part of that group?"

Gareth was silent. He had an odd look on his face.

"No. That happened before this. He kept asking me why it mattered, why did I have to find you? You know why? Because everyone else we knew is dead, Hannah. The girl I was seeing, I'd only just started seeing her, was already pulled apart by the time we found her. I didn't even feel anything. I barely knew the girl. We'd been on a couple of dates. I slept with her once. She wasn't long term, I knew that. I just checked in on her because I felt… obligated."

A familiar feeling began to creep back into her mind as she listened to him, a feeling deep in her gut that she had ignored many times when they were together. She didn't want to ignore it anymore.

He stared at her, and as if he actually wanted to make things worse, he chuckled.

"You're telling me every guy you've slept with meant something to you?"

And just like that she felt defeated. Sensing this, his smile widened.

"Asshole," she said, pushing him, but he grabbed her arms and pulled her on top of him. She gazed down at him with mixed thoughts, but smiled when he reached up and stroked her cheek. She leant down to kiss him but moaned as he pushed his hips up against her.

"You got another condom in that draw?" he asked.

"Really?"

"We've got a bit of time to make up for, Han."

"Yeah, well, whose fault is that?"

"I thought I was forgiven."

"We'll see."

"So is that a yes or no?"

She smirked down at him. "You look good with that stubble, you know."

"I was thinking of shaving it off. It gets a bit itchy."

"Yeah, I know," she smirked, leaning over towards the bedside, still feeling the raw sensation on her thighs. He chuckled and ran his fingers down her back and over the curve of her ass.

"You know, back at that convenience store, I nearly brought a box of condoms back with us. Then I thought of the look on you face if we were unpacking and you saw them. Decided it was safer to leave them."

"Good move," she agreed, rummaging through the junk in her drawer, "Oh, hey, what do you know. I found the box."


	4. Chapter 4: Best Laid Plans

**BEST LAID PLANS**

They were on the road at first light the following morning, packing a couple of backpacks with water, trail mix and one of the bags of jerky left over from the night before. Alex seemed to have developed a taste for it.

"You know, there was a whole shelf full of that stuff back at the convenience store Gareth and I went to," Hannah said, watching him tear a piece in half with his teeth. He offered her the bag and she waved it away politely. "Never was a fan. My dad used to love it."

Alex and Gareth exchanged uncomfortable looks and she realized that at some point Gareth had told him about her father's abuse.

"Where is your father?" Mary asked, her gaze lowered to the road.

"I'm…not sure," Hannah lied. "I didn't hear from him after this started. I never went looking for him."

"Why not?"

"Hey, ma, you hungry?" Alex interrupted, passing her the jerky. She took a couple of pieces and chewed thoughtfully.

"How far from here?" Gareth asked, falling into step with Hannah. She'd given each of them a gun, the boys rifles and Mary a handgun, strictly for emergencies only. The rifle looked natural in Gareth's hands, though she was certain he'd never fired one before. He had tucked his crowbar into Alex's backpack, and it stuck out for fast and easy access, should anything happen.

"Still a while. You getting tired?"

"Might be worth a stop for a drink."

They paused by the roadside, Mary taking a seat on the gutter as Gareth took a sip from his canteen. Alex and Hannah kept a lookout in both directions.

"We don't want to stop long," Hannah told them, as she accepted the canteen.

"I have a good feeling about this place we're going to," Gareth admitted.

"Really?" she frowned, taking a sip, "Why?"

"I don't know. I just do. I liked what you said about thinking long-term. No one knows how longs this is going to last. No word from the government with any attempts to clean it up. Though considering their last attempt at a solution was to napalm the goddamn city, that's probably not a bad thing."

As she passed the water back, his fingers lingered on hers and she smiled.

"What do you know about gardening, anyway?" he asked, as he packed the canteen back into his knapsack and slung it over his shoulder before they began moving off.

"Seed plus dirt plus water equals plant, right?"

"Right," he chuckled, "but if we're going to do this, no broccoli, alright?"

"Agreed."

"You thinking animals, too?" Alex asked, joining them whilst continuing to keep a close watch on his mother, who walked a little ahead of them. "I mean, eventually? Livestock? Chickens, pigs, cows?"

"I didn't really want to go down that path just yet," Hannah replied, "Plus, this close to the city, I wouldn't have a clue where to find any of those."

Gareth nodded, thoughtful. "I don't think I'd make a very good butcher, anyway," he admitted.

Alex shook his head, agreeing. "It was alright when you didn't know where it was coming from. I'm not big on the idea. Let's stick to vegetables for now. Besides, there's always jerky."

"We're talking about actual meat," Hannah joked.

"It is actual meat."

"Was," she corrected him, and laughed. Distracted by their conversation, the three nearly ran into Mary, who had come to a stop in the middle of the road. A few dozen feet from where they stood, a little girl growled, pulling against her binds. Someone had thought to tie her to a fire hydrant, but hadn't had the heart to kill her. As they drew closer, Hannah saw the bite marks on her neck and face and turned back to Mary.

"Ma, stay back," Alex instructed, putting a hand on her shoulder. She stared at the dead child without emotion.

Gareth and Hannah exchanged looks, negotiating.

"I'll do it," she said, drawing her knife. He glanced down at the blade, then met her eyes and slowly nodded.

"Ma!"

Alex hurried after Mary as she walked towards the little girl, a kitchen knife grasped in her hand. Hannah didn't remember giving her that.

"Let me do it," Mary said calmly, "She deserves to be put out of her misery."

The girl snapped at her as she strained against the rope, gnashing her teeth and grunting. Mary crouched in front of her and ran her hand over the girl's once-fine blonde hair, soothing her. After a moment, she grabbed the hair and pushed her head down to meet her blade, slowly releasing her and sliding the knife from her eye socket. The girl slipped out of her arms and onto the ground.

Hannah stared with morbid curiosity, while Alex helped his mother to her feet. He gazed down at all the blood on her hands and looked over at Gareth, who seemed disturbed by the scene. He turned away and started walking again. Alex wasn't far behind. Hannah followed suit, pausing by the little girl's body to look at her in her teddy bear pajamas and little pink slippers. She wondered if it had been her parents who tied her up, or if they were the ones responsible for the marks on her face. She decided she'd rather not know.

* * *

"We need to go around," she said later, as they sat behind an abandoned car, occasionally glancing over the hood to the horde on the other side that blocked their path.

"How are we going to manage that?" Alex said.

"It's doable," she replied, "Stick close to the buildings and always check you corners. We don't want to be caught by surprise. I'll lead, if you want."

Gareth glanced through the car window again and sat back against the car, looking unsure. Hannah waited for some sort of sign from him, and he finally looked at her and nodded. Mary gripped her knife with both hands, readying herself.

Hannah went first, keeping low as she made her way towards the closest building. She slipped into the alleyway, then motioned for Alex to follow. He peeked around the side of the car, waited, then took off at a fast jog, reaching her side without incident. Mary stayed where she was, murmuring private prayers to herself. Gareth looked over at Hannah and saw her motioning urgently to them. He glanced over the hood again and spotted a couple of strays heading in their direction.

"Ma, we need to move."

She shook her head and kept murmuring to herself. He looked over to his brother for help, but Alex was focused on the approaching dead. Just as he was about to step out and lure them away, Mary made a break for it, attracting the attention of more of the horde, who turned towards their hiding spot and began lumbering in their direction. Cursing under his breath, Gareth made a final dash for it. As soon as he reached the others, they broke for the other end of the alley, darting around the corner out of sight.

"We need to move faster," Hannah directed at Mary.

Alex checked around the corner. "We need to keep going," he reported, eyes wide. Hannah followed his gaze and saw the whole horde pushing its way down the narrow alleyway towards them.

"Go, go, go," she said, starting off in the opposite direction. "The hardware place is just up this road. We can make it."

"Are you sure we'll be able to get in?" Alex asked, breathing hard as they continued to run.

She glanced at him, but didn't reply.

They reached the carpark of the large home-improvement store and spotted the metal shutters pulled down over the front entrance. Hannah grabbed the crowbar from Gareth's backpack and approached, shoving the curve into place and yanking upwards. The shutter didn't budge. She tried again with a grunt of exertion, but nothing happened.

"It's not budging," Hannah alerted them, yanking up on the crowbar with all her strength.

"Here," Gareth offered, practically pushing her out of the way. She glared at him, then glanced back at the steadily approaching horde as it filtered out of the alleyway. They hadn't been spotted yet. They still had time.

Gareth's attempts proved equally as futile, for which he received a sarcastic look from his ex.

"We need to find another way in."

A thought occurred to the pair at the same instant.

"The back?" she suggested.

He nodded and led off.

* * *

Around the back, they found several trucks that appeared to have been in the process of delivering stock when they had been interrupted, presumably when someone's flesh had been torn from their body.

Hannah found what was left of one of the warehouse workers hanging off the back of a truck. Out of the three that were parked there, it was the only one that was open. Hannah wasn't particularly keen on finding out what the others held inside.

"Should we try one of these?" Alex asked, trying to ignore the mangled corpse to their right.

"Too big," Hannah replied, "We need to find a van or trailer or something. Wouldn't make for bad defense on the road though. Assuming they've still got some gas in the tank."

Gareth walked up to one of the closed trucks and knocked on the back doors. The sound was answered by several growls and moans. He looked back at the others and shook his head.

Hannah glanced past him and spotted a door wedged open by a brick. It was covered in blood and viscera, as though someone had used it as a weapon before entering the building. She wondered if they'd made it back out.

"There," she said, notifying the others of her find. They jogged up the steps that led to the door, discovering the bludgeoned corpse blocking their path.

"Should we split up now?" Alex asked, once again averting his gaze from the bloodied man. "Two of us go look for the truck, the other two go look inside?"

He did not appear enthusiastic about the latter option. Sensing that he wasn't about to volunteer, Hannah looked to Gareth, who was staring at the corpse. He met her gaze and nodded, turning back to his brother.

"We'll go inside, check out the place. Ma?"

"I'll be out here, helping Alex," she agreed.

"Good."

Hannah glanced back, but saw no sign of any walkers.

"Remember, van, trailer, car. Something we can easily maneuver and still fit a lot in," she began, taking off her backpack and rummaging through it. She pulled out two handheld radios and passed one to Alex. "Here. I've set them to the same frequency, so we should be sweet. I don't know how long the battery life is, so only use them if you get into any trouble, or if you find something we can use. We'll radio you once we have what need. Be careful, okay?"

Alex nodded and exchanged a last look with his brother, offering a solemn, thin-lipped smile before he took off, his mother close behind.

"Whatever you do," Hannah said to Gareth, "Don't let off any shots unless absolutely necessary. Especially not in close quarters."

"I'm not an idiot, Han," he replied, as they reached the door. Resting her hand on the door handle, ready to push, she turned to give him a look that suggested otherwise. He rolled his eyes.

"Ready?"

"Never been readier."

He slung the rifle over his shoulder, looking so casual that he might have grown up with one in his hands. He readied his trusty crowbar as Hannah pulled out her knife, then they entered.

* * *

It was quiet inside the warehouse, but death hung around them like a fog. The door creaked loudly as it swung back onto the brick, and the pair froze. When nothing answered the sound, they continued deeper into the complex.

"You know how to get into the main building?" Gareth asked, crowbar raised and ready as he glanced around the darkness.

"Wouldn't have a clue," she whispered back.

They worked their way up through the side of the building, slipping silently through the aisles, trying to make out objects in the dark.

"See anything useful back here?"

"I'm not seeing much of anything. We need to find the switch."

"Uh, you forgetting about the whole 'no electricity' thing?"

"Big places like this are usually hooked up to a backup generator. We might be in luck."

"Good point."

"I think I see the switchboard."

Gareth approached the square, metal box on the wall and held his hand out for the flashlight. Then they heard the first growl.

"Shit."

"Hang on."

He shined the light on the board, searching for the right button, while Hannah turned to look into the surrounding black, hoping she wouldn't see anything looking back.

A second growl answered the first and she took a step back. A hiss from the back joined the first two.

"Gareth?"

"Hang on. Got it!"

The lights sparked to life, giving Gareth a second of triumph before revealing the dozen walkers closing in on them.

"Fuck!"

"Go, go, go."

She pushed him towards the nearest door and they burst through, slamming it shut behind them.

"Now what?" Gareth asked, as she breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Aisles surrounded them, shelves stocked with a vast variety of DIY supplies.

"We get what we need and get out," Hannah replied, eyes scanning the closest signs for an indicator as to where to begin.

"About that…" he said, looking back at what had been their only exit.

"We'll figure it out," she assured him. "Let's make sure we make the trip worthwhile."

"What about the others? If they find something and come looking for us?"

"They'd let us know if they found something," she replied, tapping the radio clipped to her hip. Sensing his uncertainty, she picked it up and called them. "Alex, do you read me?"

" _We read you_ ," he replied, his voice soft. Realizing her voice might attract walkers to their position, she followed his example and lowered her voice.

"Are you guys clear?"

" _A couple of them followed us, but we took them out. Did you get in?"_

"Yeah, but, uh, there's a bit of a problem. We're kind of trapped in here. We got cornered in the warehouse. There's a dozen or more out there waiting for us. Just don't come looking for us, okay? We'll find our own way out."

" _We could try luring them_ ," he suggested. Gareth shook his head at her.

"No, don't try anything. We'll figure something out, okay? Just keep us updated on the transport situation."

There was silence on Alex's end, and Gareth and Hannah exchanged looks.

" _I think we might have something_ ," his voice sounded suddenly.

Gareth gave a sigh of relief and turned back to stare at the warehouse door, thinking.

"Awesome. We'll let you know when we're done. Keep safe out there."

She clipped the radio back onto her jeans and playfully poked Gareth in the side. He gave her a forced smile, and turned back to the sprawling aisles before them.

"Worse comes to worst, we'll take them out ourselves. Like we did in the convenience store. Hey, gardening supplies!"

She moved off towards their objective, stopping in front of the stand of seeds to grab whatever would grow to be edible.

"No broccoli, right?" she joked, but Gareth continued to glance back towards the door. He turned to look at her, biting his lip.

"They'll be fine," Hannah assured him, careful to hide her own doubt, realizing now that they had volunteered for what had turned out to be the easier job; Alex and Mary were more likely to run into trouble outside.

Gareth shook it off best he could and focused on the job at hand, scanning a selection of tools. He ran his hand over the closest one, wondering whether it would double as a weapon.

"Trust you to go straight for the hoes," Hannah commented. He stared at her, a smile playing on the corners of his mouth.

"Well, considering last night…"

"Fuck you."

"Kind of my point."

He lifted the tool off the shelf to test the weight.

"This would give you more reach than that knife of yours."

Stashing the recovered seeds into her backpack, Hannah joined him, perusing the selection in a similar manner. She spotted the more practical looking items instantly; axes, pickaxes and shovels. As she reached out to take one, her thoughts went back to own garden at home, and the shovel that was still leaned up against the garden shed, a stark reminder of her father's grave. Her hand fell back to her side.

"We don't need any of these. I've got all we need back at the house."

Realization hit her suddenly, as she thought of what they would find once they started digging up her yard. She made a mental note to herself to find a way around it.

"You alright?" Gareth asked her, "Zoning out on me again?"

"Huh? Yeah. Sorry."

She picked up a pickaxe and tested the weight of it in her hands before taking a test swing. Gareth caught it mid-swing just above her grip, and she looked up at him.

"I'm still getting my head around the fact that you're willing to do all this for us."

"Well, I need food and water too, you know," she reminded him, "So it's not exactly a selfless act."

He chuckled. "No, I mean letting us into your house, trusting us, looking out for us. It's….it's not common to do that anymore."

A funny look appeared on his face, driving her curiosity. She waited for him to elaborate.

"A neighbor we'd known for years tried to break into my ma's place to take whatever food she had. She was terrified. I don't know what he would have done to her if Alex and I weren't there to fight him off. I honestly didn't think people would turn to that so quickly."

"You know what? I honestly don't think there was much holding most people back in the first place. All it took was a hint that society as we knew it was collapsing, and the breakdown of law enforcement, and everything became one big free for all. People's true natures began to come out."

She lapsed into thought, recalling the types of visitors she had received over the last few weeks, hostile and friendly alike. Almost as an afterthought she added, "There's still good people, though."

"This is probably going to sound ridiculous," Gareth responded, "Especially given the circumstances. But Alex and I were talking a while back, after everything happened, but before we lost Alicia. About finding all the good ones. Bringing them all to one place. Starting something. Like a…a community for everyone. Civilization. Or at least, a taste of it again."

Hannah smiled as she listened, recognizing a familiar optimism in his voice. He'd had so many big plans in high school, and had such infectious energy whenever he spoke about them. Even now he still had that effect on her. She was already picturing this community – survivors banding together to fight off the dead, bountiful gardens supplying them with all the food they needed, water catchments set up for drinking and bathing. All of that would mean leaving the safety of her already well-stocked home, though, and she couldn't see a good enough reason for doing that. That would require a huge leap of faith, and from what she'd seen of the human race over the past few weeks, she wasn't willing to take that dive just yet.

"You telling me you want to sublet my house?" she joked, trying to keep the pessimism from her voice.

"I was thinking a little larger scale than that, Han." He stared at her, hands on hips, brow furrowed. She realized he was completely serious about this idea.

"So what, like secure the neighborhood, build up a wall –"

"No. It would have to be an isolated location. Something with pre-existing structures to provide shelter and security."

As he spoke, his eyes grew distant as if he were seeing the entire plan laid out before him. He rubbed at the stubble on his chin, smiling thoughtfully.

"You had something in mind?"

"There are a few places I remember from when I was studying landscape architecture. How the city was designed, how it connects up to surrounding areas in the state, why things are built in specific locations. There are prisons scattered around the state, all built at a safe distance from any areas with large populations. I mean, think about it – these places are built to keep people in, but work just as well keeping people out, or for our purposes, keeping any biters out."

"Except for the ones already inside," she pointed out.

"That's the downside. Assuming they just shut down the prisons when all this went down. I doubt that they'd have made the effort to extract the inmates."

"Well, the military had its priorities," Hannah replied with dark sarcasm. She hadn't trusted the military from the start, the moment they had begun trying to 'get things under control'. Their 'for the greater good' mentality, though something she hated to admit she now possessed, had shocked her. Watching them napalm half the city without clearing it of civilians first had been the deciding factor for her.

"We'd have a big job clearing it out. I don't think it's something we could manage, just the four of us. A dozen in a warehouse is too much for us. Imagine being stuck in a prison full of undead inmates."

"Or worse, live ones. Did you have a plan B?" she chuckled.

"One other place that's kind of stuck in my head for a while is a train yard."

"A train yard?"

"Yeah. There's a big train yard right smack in the middle of the state. They used it for train maintenance, so it has tracks connecting it to almost every major town and city in Georgia. It won't be as secure as a prison, but in terms of accessibility…if we want to bring in other survivors, that'd be the way to do it."

He was smiling to himself now, enjoying his own ingenuity.

"How do you even know about this place?"

"Do you know how much I had to study the goddamn state map? Railroad systems and stations were an entire unit in one of my classes."

"What do they have to do with architecture?"

He narrowed his eyes and glanced at her, a condescending gesture that received an eye roll in response.

"Sorry. They're just one of the most complex structures to design in terms of functionality. Especially one as large as this. It connects up with nearly every other station across the state. Planning something like that you'd have to take into account the volume of traffic you'd have passing through, the amount of platforms you'd need, how many control towers, the positioning of every element. Anyway, my point is that if we want to start up a community for other survivors, it'd be ideal. Easy access from across the state, easy travel and simple directions. What?"

She had failed to keep her expression in check.

"It's a bit of a Catch-22 situation, though, don't you think?"

"In what way?" His eyes narrowed again.

"Like what we were discussing before, about how quickly people can go bad. I get the vision, I really do. In an ideal world, it would be amazing to bring people back together, start over and start rebuilding. It's just, it's really hard to tell the good from the bad these days. The more people you bring in, the more likely you are to attract the rogues. How do you know you'll be attracting the right people?"

"We'd still be armed," he replied, "We'd just have to be careful about it. Maybe I just have a little more faith in humanity than you do. Though so far you seem a pretty good judge of character."

His mouth quirked up into a smile.

"That remains to be seen."

He chuckled.

"Anyway, it's just a…dream. I guess. For now, I'm content with it just being the four of us."

"You've been with me, what, four days? And you're already planning how you're going to move out."

A strange look came over him.

"You'd be coming with us, Han. Don't think this is me abandoning you or something."

She had been joking, but the level of sincerity in his voice made her uncomfortable. She countered the feeling the only way she knew how, with another scathing joke.

"Because for all you know, there's no other women left out there, right?"

He stared at her, genuinely concerned by the remark.

"Sorry. Bad joke."

He brushed a loose strand of her from her face and ran his finger down her cheek, distracting her. She felt all her negative thoughts drain away, and she hated herself for it; the way she could be manipulated so easily by a simple smile or touch, that she couldn't hold onto practical anger the way she thought she should to keep herself protected. She couldn't allow herself to trust him, not entirely, even despite what they had been through together so far. But as he smiled down at her and leant in for reassuring peck on the lips, she realized he had already won.

Blushing, she shook her head.

"Let's just get the rest of the stuff, shall we?"

He stepped back as she placed the pickaxe back on its hook and looked around for an indication of where to start next. Hannah was already heading down the aisle, looking left and right as she reached the end.

"I think I see a sign up here."

She disappeared from his view.

"Hannah!" he called, in a harsh whisper. Rounding the corner, he caught sight of her checking out a sign at the end of one of the rows, which listed the aisle's contents. Finding nothing of interest, she strolled over to the next one.

She turned back to him, "Where the heck do they keep the water containers in this –"

She froze as she looked past him. He turned and watched as a dozen or more walkers shuffled towards them. They had closed the door properly behind them, he was sure of it. Alarmed, he looked back at Hannah, who was gesturing for him to get out of sight. He backed up into the aisle of garden tools, thankful to have functional weapons within arm's reach, wondering what Hannah was doing to keep safe. Plucking the pickaxe back off the hook, he stood considering his next move.

A crash echoed from her direction and he found himself sprinting down the opposite end of the aisle, taking a cautious route to her position. Several aisles down, he spotted her tipping over a stand of ceramic pots as a second loud crash sounded. Dumbfounded, he tried to get her attention as the walkers drew nearer to her, but not before she disappeared into the outdoor furniture section. The walkers crossed over the broken shards littering the ground, cutting open their feet and leaking blood across the polished floor, coming to a stop behind the makeshift-wall of display stands. Intent on finding the source of the racket, they groaned their protest at the minor setback. Distracted by the scene, Gareth didn't notice Hannah come up behind him, and jumped when she grabbed his hand.

"If they're the ones from the warehouse, this'll be our only chance."

"We haven't even got half the stuff we came here for," he protested, watching the biters trip over one another.

Hannah gave him an impatient look. "Come on. We might be able to find something out in the warehouse. Let's go."

Annoyed by the outcome, he let the pickaxe clutter to the ground before he could realize what he'd done. Hannah clenched her jaw and glared at him.

"Shit."

"We need to go. Now."

They moved down the back of the aisles, staying out of sight of the horde and keeping as quiet as possible. The exit came into view. The door was still closed.

"What the fuck is going on?" Hannah cried, turning back to walkers as they began to close in.


	5. Chapter 5: Repercussions

**REPERCUSSIONS**

She came to slowly the next morning, taking a moment to realize her arms were empty and she could no longer feel the comforting warmth of Rick's body behind her. She panicked, rising quickly to her feet as she began to remember where she was. The dreams had left her with a heavy feeling in her heart, the fogginess of old memories clouding her thoughts.

"Hey," a familiar gruff voice sounded, soothing her almost instantly.

Rick approached with Judith on his hip, alternating scoops of their oatmeal breakfast into the baby's mouth, then his. Judith gazed at Hannah as they got closer and, noticing the little one's infatuation, Rick smiled. Looking at Hannah, he didn't even have to ask how the rest of her sleep had been. He had never seen her look so distant and groggy. She had been alert and ready for action from the day they had stumbled across her those many months ago outside of Atlanta – nothing seemed to affect her back then, and though that had once been a concern, it had proven to be an asset to the group's functionality.

"Morning," she mumbled to him now, holding her arms out for Judith. He passed the smiling infant to her, tapping the contents of the spoon out into the bowl before offering the remainders to her. Watching her carefully as she swayed back and forth with the little one on her hip, he tried to determine what was going on in her head. Though their conversation the night before had given him some insight, he still felt there was more to it, something she wasn't telling him.

Hannah glanced up to meet his gaze as she spooned another scoop into Judith's mouth.

"What's the plan for today?"

"The plan? Well, Daryl scouted up ahead a little this morning. Didn't find anything, but the road looks clear so far."

"Sometimes not finding anything isn't a good thing, huh?"

Rick nodded, no longer feeling the need to mask his disappointment. "Looks like we'll just have to keep hoofing it. Wait and hope that we're fortunate to stumble across something worth considering."

"How are the supplies looking?"

His expression was grim.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, you're awake."

Abraham joined them now, with Rosita and Eugene close behind. Hannah exchanged a sarcastic smile with the ginger-haired ex-soldier and focused her attention on feeding Judith.

"So we was wondering if you'd taken our suggestion into any further consideration," Abraham said to Rick.

Hannah noticed the corner of Rick's mouth twitch, the way it usually did when he was becoming annoyed.

"Like I told you before, the important thing for me right now is finding food and shelter for these people. Not dragging them through another state on a potentially futile mission."

"Futile? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Hannah rolled her eyes as the men began to square off, Abraham taking the offensive position while Rick remained cool.

"He means we've been there, done that," she answered for him. Abraham turned to her, unamused by the interjection.

"I don't think was asking you, missy."

"Hey, watch yourself." Rick's expression had darkened dramatically at the hint of a threat towards her. He had always been protective, but since watching Gareth's interactions with her back at Terminus, something inside him had cracked. Hannah felt the two men were on the verge of something dangerous.

"Not long after I first joined the group, we made it to the CDC, thinking maybe they were working on a cure."

"Listen," Abraham interrupted, holding up a hand to silence her, "I don't need to hear your goddamn life story."

"I suggest you shut your mouth and listen to what I have to say."

Curious to see that sort of courage come from someone usually so reserved, he indulged her with his full attention, waving a hand for her to continue.

"When we arrived at the CDC, we found only one man left. One scientist. He taught us two things. One: there is no cure, nor will there ever be one. And two: somehow that means we should all give up and stop trying to fight it. I never warmed to the idea of the second part, but I do trust that there's no way of curing this."

"I don't believe you're qualified to make that kind of judgement," Eugene began, immediately cut-off by his self-appointed body guard, who held up his hand and threw him a scowl.

"And what happened to this scientist of yours?" Abraham asked, turning back.

"He killed himself. One of ours died with him. Their choice."

"So one scientist decides to top himself, and you decide there's no hope. Now, personally I don't think I'd trust anything that came out of the mouth of a fucking loony."

"He wasn't crazy. I mean, did you not see that place back there? What the world's come to? It's enough to drive any sane man off the edge."

She rocked gently back and forth as Judith began to fuss, cooing softly to the infant as she stared at Abraham and waited for his reply.

"None of that make's a lick of difference to me. All I know is I've got a man right here who says he can cure this thing, so I'm making it my number one priority to get him where he needs to go."

"Let us know how that goes for you."

He scoffed. "You two…I don't know if you're both just thick, or if you genuinely just don't care anymore. I get it. Your old boyfriend turned into a cannibal, humanity's one big stinking pile of horseshit, why bother, right?"

Hannah was glaring at him with a calm hatred. She handed Judith back to Rick, taking out her sidearm. It took Rick a moment to realize what she was doing, turning Judith away and grabbing her wrist before she could raise the weapon.

"What's going on?" Glenn asked, noticing Hannah's drawn weapon as he approached the group with Maggie and Tara, the latter of the three looking worried. Michonne appeared with Carl, taking Judith from Rick as she assessed the situation, meanwhile Daryl and Carol stepped up behind Hannah. Sacha, Bob and Tyrese stood nearby, looking on. Tyrese eyed Hannah's drawn weapon and exchanged a look with Daryl.

"Right now," said Rick, attempting to diffuse the situation as quickly as he could before someone got hurt, "More than anything, what we need is food, water and a safe place to hold up. Until then, I suggest you take a raincheck on your idea."

Looking around, realizing he was fast becoming outnumbered, Abraham scowled, spat on the ground and turned back to Rosita, who rolled her eyes at his juvenile behavior.

Rick watched him walk away and turned back to Hannah.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he asked, voice hushed but with a harsh edge.

She holstered her weapon and ran her hand back through her hair, a move that never failed to remind him of Lori. Without giving him an answer, she pushed passed and moved further into the woods to be alone. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he knew that her run in with past ghosts had shaken up something dark.

* * *

They were backed into a corner.

To their right, the walkers they now knew had been intentionally released from the warehouse moved towards them, blocking their escape; their only remaining exit held at gunpoint by the three men who had set the creatures loose.

Hannah craned her neck passed the aisle to see if she could spot them. Two were standing on the upper level, outside the offices, while the third strode down the stairs, glancing around for them. She tapped her sidearm, constructing a plan to get them out. After a moment, her tapping stopped and she unslung her rifle, moving calmly in the direction of their assailants. Gareth yanked her back, glancing from one threat to the next, sweating and pale.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyeing her gun.

"We need to leave. Now."

"You're going to kill them?"

"Gareth, they're going to kill us."

"You don't know that. They've only got baseball bats and…and…"

"Knives? If they don't kill us, the biters will."

"You can't kill them. What will that make us?"

"Alive," she said, moving off without further hesitation.

Gareth looked back at the walkers who were getting closer by the second. He heard the first shot and flicked his head in its direction. Gazing down at his own weapon, he realized he held the same power and frowned, feeling the urge to toss the gun away. A second shot sounded from above, followed by a cry of agony and he found the motivation to move, praying that the voice hadn't been Hannah's. He found the first body at the bottom of the stairs, shot clean through the head, blood pooling against the bottom step. Stepping gingerly over it, taking in his ex's grisly handiwork, he proceeded up onto the top level, just in time to witness her kill the second man, who was cowered by the wall, cradling his knee.

"Han!" he began, just as she fired at his head.

Gareth turned away as bone and brain sprayed the wall, the shot echoing through his head as he became disoriented.

"Are you okay?" he heard a distant voice ask.

Before he could answer, Hannah turned to the third man, who had just emerged from a back office, sprinting towards her with a machete. It only took her a second to line up her shot and he was on his back, blood and brain mixing with that of his accomplice.

Gareth was on his knees vomiting, trying hard to regain control of his breathing. He felt a hand on his shoulder, someone pulling him up. His vision refocused and he saw the walkers coming towards them up the staircase. Hannah pulled him behind her and began firing.

" _Gareth? Hannah? What's going on? Are we hearing shots in there?"_

Hannah jumped as the radio at her hip came to life. Glancing at Gareth, who remained crouched by the wall, running his fingers through his hair as he tried to process what he has just witnessed. His hand stopped midway as he felt something wet, his fingers coming away with chunks of gore. He flicked it off his hands in an instant, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and got to his feet.

"We ran into some trouble, Alex. I'll have to explain later."

" _Yeah, well, so did we."_

Hannah squeezed her eyes shut, anticipating the bad news.

" _We found a truck but it won't start. Turns out someone took the battery. Stripped the whole engine. There's nothing else here that'll suit us. I'm sorry, Han. I think this might be a bust."_

She looked to all the walkers spread across the floor, their bodies blocking most of the stairwell.

"We've got our exit. We'll be out shortly," she replied, voice tight as frustration took hold.

Releasing the button on the receiver, she stood still for a moment, expression blank. Then she threw a punch at the wall, following it with a hard kick as her plan fell to pieces around her.

Still in shock, Gareth managed to pull her away.

They walked in silence until they reached Alex and Mary outside. Alex took one look at his brother and realized something was very wrong.

* * *

Hannah poured the recovered vegetable seeds out onto the dining table, glancing over at the two brothers who spoke in hushed tones in the kitchen.

Gareth hung his head as he listened to Alex, then nodded before heading over to the table. He stood next to her, watching as she sorted the vegetables into piles of what should be planted next to what.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, without looking up.

He picked up a packet of snow peas, turned it over and scanned the information on the back, not really taking any of it in.

"No. I think I'm just going to go sleep."

He tossed the packet down and walked away, heading up the staircase.

Hannah dropped the packet of carrot seeds she had been considering, and rubbed at the bandage on her hand. Her brief moment of rage had cost her further damage to her already-wounded hand, so she had taped it up as a reminder to take better care. As she flexed it now, she felt a bolt of pain run up the middle tendon, which had narrowly avoided being skewered by the nail the day before. Hearing noises in the living room, she went to investigate.

Alex was fluffing up a pillow, placing it down onto the sofa before unfolding the blanket that she had left out days before.

"Ma asked Gareth to sleep up with her tonight. She was a little rattled. He's always been better at talking her down than I have."

He rubbed the back of his head, surveying the sofa as though making sure he hadn't forgotten anything.

"Oh. Okay," Hannah replied, trying to ignore the obvious lie. His excuse was made all the more dubious as he ignored the fact Gareth hadn't slept on the couch for the past two nights.

"I'm sorry today didn't work out."

She forced a smile, dozens of thoughts speeding through her mind. "There's always another way, I guess. We'll work it out."

"On the bright side, it'll be easier to get in next time."

"Yeah. I guess it will be."

He stared down at the ground, glancing up as he tried to think of a way to address the elephant in the room.

"Did Gareth tell you what happened?" she asked, sparing him the awkwardness.

He nodded, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Alex, I would never have done that unless we were in danger."

He nodded again, though each nod looked increasingly uncommitted.

"I know, Han. He's just shaken up, I think. We've never had to do any of that on the road. And I honestly hope we never have to. I don't think any of us could…"

The implication stung even more coming from Alex. Even after Gareth had ended things with her, Hannah had always found it easy to relate to his younger brother, who just seemed to understand her better. Part of her did wish she had asked him out, as Gareth had suggested, but she figured it would become awkward very quickly. She could just imagine how Mary would have felt, knowing Hannah had been with both of her sons. It definitely would have made for one uncomfortable family dinner.

"How's your hand?"

She looked down at her bandage again, flexing her fingers with the same result.

"I was frustrated."

"You punch a wall?"

"Yeah, actually."

They both chuckled at the stupidity of the action.

"It's alright. I mean, we can always keep an eye out for a truck on the road, right? This was just…plan A."

Hannah tipped her head forward, dark hair spilling over her face before she ran her hands back through it. She breathed out a sigh that stuck in her throat halfway as it tightened with emotion.

"I know that, Alex. But three men died and I have nothing to show for it. I thought I was killing for survival."

"You said they were going to kill you guys?"

"Gareth was right. We could have backed out through the warehouse and just left. But I wanted to take what I needed to. And they were in my way. I'm so sick of people being selfish. All those guys had to do is ask what I was there for, let me take it, and then we'd each go our separate ways."

Alex's gaze fell as his discomfort lingered. He shoved his hands into his back pockets and looked down over at the couch.

"Look, you should get some sleep," he suggested, "We can discuss it tomorrow. We'll figure out what to, Han."

She managed the thinnest of smiles and nodded, leaving him to his heavy thoughts. Forgetting her rifle on one of the dining chairs, exhausted from the day's events, she headed up the staircase towards her bedroom. At the end of the hall she could see the soft glow of the guest room light. She could just make out the huddled shape of Mary asleep on the bed. Gareth sat beside her, legs drawn up to his chest, deep in thought.

Before he could look up and realize she was watching, Hannah made for her bedroom, closing the door behind her. Despite everything, she slept.

* * *

The following morning she woke to the first decent sun in weeks. Standing in front of her bedroom window, she gazed down at the empty street, the walkers they had killed the day of the storm piled on her neighbor's lawn. She added that to her mental list of things to take care of today.

She found the two brothers in the kitchen, chatting over bowls of oatmeal. Gareth had perked up immensely overnight, smiling as he handed her a bowl.

"You guys are up early," she commented, rubbing her eyes. She stifled a yawn as she took a seat at the kitchen counter.

"We thought we'd let you sleep in a little. You looked like you needed it," Gareth replied.

"Gee, thanks."

He smiled one of his usual, easy smiles as he spooned up another mouthful of food and went on, "Plus Ma wanted to get an early start on planting the seeds we found. She said it's best just after heavy rainfall, when the soil is nice and soft."

Hannah's hands stopped midway through smoothing back her hair as she remembered the secret she had buried out back. Feeling her chest tighten with panic, she tried her best to maintain her composure. She was sure she had buried her father deep enough. How deep did you have to dig to plant seeds? As she contemplated all of this, staring listlessly into her bowl of oatmeal, they heard a scream. All three of them looked up, heads turning towards the back door as they recognized it as Mary's. Bowls of food went clattering down to the kitchen counter.

"Ma!" The brothers took off at the same time, but Hannah remained in her seat, sick with nerves. It was probably just a stray walker that had found its way into her yard. It couldn't be him. She thought back to that day, trying to remember where she'd shot him. Surely it had been in the head…no. It came back to her; the thought about him not having a heart. She had shot him in the heart.

Racing to the backyard, she watched as her father's corpse attempted to pull Mary towards his dirt-crusted teeth. Gareth and Alex had taken one each, with Alex trying to release his mother from the steadfast grip of the walker, and Gareth pummeling the dead man with a shovel. Thinking fast, Hannah ran back into the kitchen, eyes searching for her rifle. Failing to find it, she pulled the biggest knife from the wooden block on the counter and rushed back outside. Yelling for Gareth to cease his bludgeoning for a moment, Hannah grabbed her father by the hair and shoved the knife through his temple. He fell back against her and she scrambled away in disgust.

Gareth joined his brother, crouching by his mother's side to make sure that she was okay, but the three of them turned to stare at their host. Hannah could see the questions forming behind their terrified expressions. She knew how it must have looked. Why bother burying one of the biters in her yard? Why hadn't she finished it off properly in the first place? Then Gareth looked back at the dead man and recognition crept onto his face. He glanced over at his ex, then moved to help Mary to her feet. As the two brothers helped their mother inside, Hannah remained in the dirt, contemplating her next move.

* * *

The first sign of trouble came when only Alex appeared, silent as he helped her remove the body. They added it to the rotting pile across the street, and still he avoided her gaze. Nothing got done for the rest of the day. The small family made themselves scarce, spending most of the time upstairs in the guest room speaking in hushed tones, voices suddenly ceasing whenever they heard her approaching footsteps. Hannah tried everything to distract herself. She checked and cleaned a few of her hidden weapons, careful to ensure she wasn't seen whilst doing so. She did a sweep of the front yard and double-checked the windows to confirm they were secure. It was growing dark outside as she took stock of their supplies, making a list of what they needed to look out for on their next supply run. She heard a safety click off behind her.

"I'm really sorry about this, Hannah."

She turned slowly to face Gareth as he pointed her rifle at her chest. Her expression of calm focus faded into fury.

"Gareth, what the fuck are you doing? What is this?"

"We had a long talk today. About what you did to those men back in the hardware store…"

"They would have killed us, Gareth! You know that! Are you seriously doing this right now?"

"We could have just left. You murdered them. You went out of your way to do that. And then your dad…What was he doing out there, Hannah? Did you kill him too?"

She swallowed back the bile rising in her throat. This was not how this was supposed to go. A man she had once loved had found his way back into her life against all odds. This couldn't be it.

"Gareth, you need to give me a chance to-"

"To explain?"

"Yes."

"I don't think we need an explanation."

Stricken with panic, realizing what they were planning to do with her, she grasped for a way to change his mind.

"You know what he used to do to me, Gareth. He came to the house just before all this started. He was going to kill me, Gareth. What the hell was I supposed to do?"

Her throat tightened as tears of fear and anger filled her eyes.

"We talked about the difference between the good and the bad people in this world now, Hannah. I really thought you'd be one of the good ones. I really wanted you to be part of helping to build a new community." He glanced away, looking almost genuinely disappointed. "No. We can't risk it."

"Risk what?"

"You're obviously unstable. I know what your father put you through, but it's no excuse for murder. We can't trust someone who kills with no remorse."

Her eyebrows shot up as she let all of this sink in. "So what are you saying? You wanna kick me out of my own house? I brought you in off the street! You would have died without my help!"

Alex and Mary appeared from the staircase behind him, Alex carrying the crowbar and Mary the baseball bat. They weren't attempting to look intimidating, instead acting as back-up should she refuse to leave.

There had been times in Hannah's life when she had felt overwhelmed by frustration: the slow and painful loss of her mother, her father's repeated acts of abuse, the continually toxic patterns in her love life, and more recently, the fall of civilization at the hands of undead cannibals. But she had never felt as furious as she did at that moment. She stared at her ex, at her gun in his hands; the same gun she had used to murder her father, the one that had kept her alive this long. Now these people were prepared to take everything she had worked so hard to keep.

"Sorry, Han," Alex said, avoiding her eyes.

Mary stepped up beside Gareth. "You need to leave."

"This is my house!" Hannah took a step forwards and Gareth adjusted his aim. She stared at him, a silent exchange, begging him to rethink this move, to remember the nights they'd spent together. But his expression remained focused and unmoving. He gestured with the gun for her to get moving, forcing her towards the front door. She took a few steps backward, considering her options. "You wanna talk about murder? What you're doing right now, it'll kill me. You expect me to survive out there, no weapons, no supplies, no shelter?"

Gareth turned to nod to his brother, and Alex came forward with a knapsack. He tossed it to her and she caught it easily, pulling it open to check the contents. A couple of bottles of water, some granola bars, potato chips, a couple of chocolate bars; items they had scavenged from the convenience store. Just enough to get by until she found more. Maybe.

"As for the shelter and weapons," Gareth went on, "You're resourceful, Han. That much has been pretty clear. I know you'll be able to find somewhere else. You'll be fine."

She wasn't sure who he was trying to convince – her or himself. He couldn't meet her gaze for a moment, gun still aimed at her, then, as his mother and Alex stepped up on either side of him, a stronger resolve seemed to come over him and his gaze hardened, readjusting his grip. He gestured once more for her to move. Her modest collection of supplies clutched in her hand, Hannah turned and did as she was asked, pausing a moment as her hand rested on the door handle. She glanced back at them over her shoulder – Gareth with her gun, Alex with the crowbar, Mary with the baseball bat – then with an almost calm acceptance, she opened the door and stepped out into the night, pulling the door closed behind her.

* * *

The stench that hit her the moment she stepped inside her neighbor's house was almost enough to convince her to turn back. Knowing that the boys would likely be watching her movements after her departure, either from her bedroom window or through the small gaps between the boards covering the living room windows, she had made off down the street before doubling back, careful to stick close to the shadows.

The body of the woman she had once considered her friend still lay in the kitchen, propped up against the cupboards, but the shotgun had since fallen from her mouth, coming to rest instead across her lap. Hannah crept hesitantly towards the shriveled corpse, one hand covering her nose as she felt her stomach begin to heave. It wasn't so much the explosion of dried gore, or the rotting, emaciated face that bothered her – it was the putrid stink of decay radiating from it. Pinching her nose, she reached for the weapon and plucked it up, quickly retreating to the adjoining living room to create some distance from the smell. She cracked open the barrel and found one shell still intact, silently glad for her neighbor's oversight. Considering the state of mind she must have been in when loading it, she seemed to have overlooked the fact that she wouldn't be around to use the second round. Locking the barrel once more, Hannah set to work seeking out the box of shells, keeping her ears pricked for the slightest of indications that she was no longer alone in the house.

She discovered the box of shells half-spilled on the bedroom floor, the scene of a hasty exit strategy. Trying to block out the thoughts of her neighbor's final desperate moments, she loaded a second shell into the shotgun's chamber, and then shoved the remaining ammo into her knapsack. Her plan was unfolding as she moved, making it up as she went, using whatever she could scrounge. Gareth was right – she was resourceful – and yet somehow he had failed to realize what that might mean for him and his last remaining family members.

* * *

Alex was just stepping out of the bathroom, carefully griping a candlestick – his only means of light – when he felt something hard press into his back. He froze and instinctively raised his free hand in submission, glancing back over his shoulder. In the dim light of his candle he could just make out the vengeful face of the gunman.

"Hannah?" he whispered, but she jammed the gun harder against his back to shut him up. She didn't look to be in much of a listening mood.

"I really wish it hadn't come to this, Alex. I honestly wish it hadn't," she spoke quietly, not quite meeting his gaze, and he could hear the strain of emotion in her voice. She had trusted him the most, he realized. He faced forward, shoulders slumping as guilt took hold. He hadn't wanted this either. He had protested when Gareth first brought it up, surprised by his brother's quick willingness to betray the one person who taken them in; the person he appeared to have patched things up with. But then Gareth had always been a little selfish like that.

"What are you going to do?" Alex asked her now, hoping whatever remained of their old bond would be enough to spare his life. For a brief moment he considered fighting back. Maybe he could catch her off guard, get the weapon from her and convince her to leave before Gareth or his mother could seek more desperate measures to remove her.

"I'm going to take back what's mine," she replied simply, before leaning forward and blowing out his candle.

* * *

Gareth had somehow managed to drift off into a troubled doze, when he was drawn back to the land of the living (and the not-so-living) by a noise in the hallway. He had settled into Hannah's guest room with his mother, unable to bring himself to use Hannah's room after what they had done to her. He had sat for a long time afterward, contemplating their actions – how they had basically condemned someone he had once genuinely cared so much for, maybe even still did, to such a lonely, miserable fate. He tried to convince himself that she would be okay; that she was tough, that she could handle surviving on the outside, that what he had done was for his own survival and that of his family. Not once did he think she might come back. She was outnumbered and outgunned, as far as he was concerned, and he knew she was smart enough to know when to give up.

Realizing what had woken him, he glanced at his mother, who lay sleeping beside him, then propped himself up on his elbows, eyes straining against the darkness to make out any suspicious shapes in the hall. Alex had volunteered to take first watch, the decision spurred by his mother's fear of a surprise invasion; though whether this was an invasion by the undead, or the rightful house owner, he wasn't sure. He frowned as he failed to find the source of the noise, and threw his legs over the edge of the mattress, ears pricked for any further sounds. Reaching down for the flashlight his mother kept by the bed, he switched it on just as the door creaked open wide. Turning the beam of light towards the new sound, he watched as Alex stepped in looking anxious. He frowned and opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, when Hannah stepped out from behind him, shotgun still pressed into the younger brother's back. Eyes wide, Gareth reached over and shook his mother awake. Thinking they were in some kind of immediate danger, Mary sprung up, reaching for her weapon, but found it was missing.

"Don't bother," Hannah told her, and Mary whipped around to look at her. "I've already taken them."

Gareth tried to steady his breath, feeling his mouth go dry as he was struck by the true gravity of the situation. What terrified him more was the realization that she had been in the room with them as they slept, silently stealing away their only means of defense. How had she even gotten inside? There had to be another entrance they didn't know about. She knew the house better than anyone; they didn't stand a chance defending it against someone who knew not only every possible point of entry, but also the location of every hidden weapon. He knew the baseball bat and the Bowie knife under the pillow had merely scratched the surface of her concealed armament. And right now, she didn't look like she was willing to go down without a fight.

As she forced Alex to step further into the room, Gareth recalled the way she had so easily mowed down the three men in the hardware store; the emotionless expression behind the spray of blood and brain matter. He thought of her father buried out in her yard and the circumstances surrounding his death. She was comfortable with murder, he realized, even if it was only for survival's sake, and it was then the fear really began to set in. They had gone about this the wrong way. There was no way out of it now. And as he took in her cold, calm manner he did the only thing he could think of; he made one last attempt to appeal to the one side of her that had never failed to get him results – the one thing he could always count on to change her mind: her old self-doubt.

"Han, put the gun down, okay? There's no need for this. I'm sorry we never gave you a chance to explain yourself, to explain what happened with your father. We were scared. We've never been in that position before. We can't even begin to understand what it must be like to –"

She held up a hand, the other balancing the gun against his brother's back. To his surprise, he realized she was smiling, but it wasn't an amused kind of smile, it was pure disbelief. Her forgiving nature had made her an easy target for manipulation in the past, but that self-doubt that had once been such a prominent part of her personality had died with her father.

"Gareth, for once in your life, shut your goddamn mouth."

He paled, any hopes he'd had for gaining the upper hand quickly dashed. This wasn't the timid young woman he had abandoned in high school – the Hannah before him now was a survivor; tough, resilient, no longer willing to be treated as a doormat. The glint in her eyes was resolute. She was not about to back down now.

"You show up at my door, you worm your way back into my head, you make me think that maybe this was a sign. That maybe we were supposed to be together again after all. Maybe this was fate. But you're still just as selfish as you were the day you ended it with me. I don't know why the fuck you made the effort to track me down, but I sure as hell wish you hadn't. And if the three of you don't get out of my house right now, you're gonna start wishing you hadn't too."

He gazed at her for a moment, mind whirring as he considered what he might possibly say to change her mind. Despite her newfound self-assurance, in the glow of the flashlight he could see angry tears threatening in her eyes. She hadn't wanted this. She had genuinely thought they would stick together, that they would see through the apocalypse as a reunited couple. He almost felt bad for her.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mother begin to creep forward, but Hannah swung the gun towards her. Sensing his opportunity, Alex made to try and wrestle the gun from her grasp, but she was much faster, dodging his assault. She pressed the barrel into his chest, then gave him a shove backwards towards his brother, betrayal etched into her features. She hadn't expected him to be the one to turn on her first. Glancing around the room, able to make out their faces even in the low glow of the flashlight, she could see the cogs turning behind each of their eyes as they began trying to formulate their plan of escape. She needed a better hostage. Though Gareth seemed compliant enough with his brother staring down the end of a gun, she knew that Mary's instinct to protect her baby would drive her to desperate measures. With this in mind, she approached the older woman and flipped the situation on its head. There was no way the two boys would risk their mother's life over some brash attempt to overpower her.

"Hannah, we can work this out!" Gareth told her, eyes pleading, sensing the overwhelming futility of the situation as his ex-girlfriend held her gun to his mother's temple. Mary tipped her head to the side, an instinctive motion to put some distance between herself and the weapon, then flicked her gaze over to her two boys, praying that between the two of them they could come up with some sort of plan. Hannah didn't give them the chance.

"Move." She gestured with a nod towards the door and much to Mary's disappointment the two boys were quick to comply, marching out towards the staircase. With an encouraging shove, she got Mary moving after them.

* * *

Staring at the three of them as they stood dejectedly on her front porch, eyes pleading for her to reconsider, that they could still make this right, she fought the urge to simply slam the door in their faces. These were desperate times, she reminded herself. People did stupid things in the name of survival. But as she looked towards Gareth, those old, bitter feelings between them resurfaced and she recovered her some of her earlier resolve. He had used her once again, and even worse, she had let him. She picked up the bag of supplies they had so thoughtfully gifted her prior to her own forced departure, and tossed it to Alex, his eyes wide as if only just realizing what this meant for them. Gareth glanced over at the modest collection of supplies and looked back at her.

"It's not enough," he told her, but from the way she narrowed her eyes, he knew it had been a ridiculous comment to make. She had every right to toss them out on their asses without any means of support. This was being generous.

"That's not my problem." There was something different about the way she spoke. Where she had once been warm and, though hesitant, at least somewhat inviting, her words now were delivered without emotion. He was reminded once more of how easily she seemed to have slipped into survival mode; no longer second guessing herself but rather making those tough decisions and sticking to them. Glancing back at the empty, uninviting road behind them, Gareth hung his head, scrambling desperately for anything that might get her to change her mind. He came up empty.

"You'll be fine," she went on, and he looked back at her, eyebrows raised at the unexpected sentiment, finding instead a sort of cold humor in her expression. He suddenly recalled that it was the same thing he'd said to her when he had forced her out. "You've made it this far," she went on, "Now leave before I fire a shot and bring every one of those things in the area down on you."

The small family exchanged looks, then turned to begin their dreaded journey into the unknown. As they made it to the pavement by her front yard, triggering the floodlights she had rigged up, Gareth turned back to meet her gaze one last time, but the front door was already closing, shutting them out for good.

It was the last time she had seen them. Until all those months later she had spotted the first of those fateful signs.

TERMINUS. SANCTUARY FOR ALL. COMMUNITY FOR ALL. THOSE WHO ARRIVE SURVIVE.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Alright, so that's all I have for now (actually, I had to write an extra 2000 or so words to finish it off), so I may or may not continue on with it, depending on the amount of interest I get. I have many other stories I need to update, so this isn't exactly a priority for me right now, but in saying that rereading what I had has given me quite a few ideas of where I could take it._

 _Thanks for reading, and I look forward to any feedback._

 _-J_


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